Random Journal Day #43 with Stacy Artis

stacy

 

Welcome to Random Journal Day!

It is the first Friday of August and we are cruising through Summer and almost to Fall! Don’t get your panties up in a bunch, there’s still a few more weeks of Summer left, as well as Shark Week and my BIG birthday this year. Actually, both our Featured Journal Keeper and I are turning the big 5-0 this year so it is a super duper special month for us!

I “met” Stacy when I started blogging, and I remember I discovered her blog while she was attending a Blog conference. As a new blogger this intrigued me and I began following her and connecting with her through this great big wonderful world-wide web. Between our e-mails, blog sharing and comments we became friends. I have felt a kindred connection with Stacy in the interactions and have appreciated her place here in the blogosphere greatly. Over the past few years we have gotten to know each other a bit, and although she is not always around for RJD day we share a love of journaling, blogging and the great God of all Online and Offline Activity- I know many of you will appreciate Stacy’s thoughts and so here she is:

-Also be sure and check out the  Bullet Journal System, she is currently using. I have completely guilted her into sharing with us regularly! 

 

 

I have to say that I feel sort of odd writing a post for Random Journal Day, in spite of Dawn’s sweet invitation, because I don’t actually participate in the group.  That’s basically because, while I do keep journals, I don’t usually save them these days once they are completed. You’re gasping in shock, I can hear you.  Trust me, it pains me, too.  So, why do I do it? Why do I part with the pages I’ve poured my heart out onto?  Let me explain…

 
When I was 7-years-old someone gave me a small blue diary, the kind they used to sell at the five and dime store.  It had a tiny lock and key to keep prying eyes from reading my secret thoughts and it’s pages were edged in gold.  I thought it was the most magnificent gift ever, because as an only child whose family often lived in remote places I didn’t often have the luxury of ready companions or confidants. That little blue diary and the many journals that came after it became my closest friends.
 
As someone who has had a life-long love affair with words, I not only read, but also write. I couldn’t stop doing either any more than I could stop breathing.  It’s part of me and it’s a very strong compulsion.  Denied the chance to do either I become antsy and irritated.
 
 

I always believed my journals were my safe place. My family ruined that for me. My husband and children are apparently no respecters of privacy or boundaries. Several times in the past they snooped in my journals and came away angry.

Nothing that I wrote was worse than anything that most likely ran through their minds at times…I just chose to process my thoughts on paper. Writing helps me to focus and I am more articulate on paper. I wrote things I felt or thought and ran through the process of working through them. The things I wrote I’d never have said to anyone’s face and the whole point of journaling them was to let them go.

Apparently, those who don’t write, don’t understand that need. They all took it very personally. I still journal, but the only really deep emotions and feelings I write about are about myself and my journey with God. If I touch on anyone else, my writing is now tainted by the thought that they may read it and I write to not offend.  I am even careful in my written prayers for them, saving my deepest, heartfelt pleas to be cried out to God alone.

All those years of journals…all those memories…all those thoughts from the early years of marriage, raising my children, the ups and downs….it’s all gone.  I destroyed it all because I didn’t want to hurt anyone or have my own words twisted against me again.

The only journals I have now are recent.  I no longer keep a daily journal of my days and my views and opinions of them.  I have a prayer journal and something called a Bullet Journal that I recently discovered.  It’s really more like a planner, but since I create it as I go I add all sorts of goodies to the pages.  You can see mine here-http://stacyswatermelon.com/2014/07/10/bullet/ 

Dawn and I have differing views on this, but I also consider blogging as a form of journaling.  What are we doing there, but sharing a slice of ourselves and our lives, pondering things, sharing information, and creating bonds. It’s just interactive with feedback from readers we choose to share with.  I will tell you that you won’t find any deep, dark secrets on my blog, either.

So, that’s what journaling is to me.  There have been some very difficult days in my journaling life, but I’ve learned some valuable lessons (if you write about anyone other than yourself, ALWAYS write something positive) and I hope I’ve grown.

Thank you, Dawn, for inviting me to write a post this month.  I enjoyed it and I promise I will try to join in with the link ups each month.

Happy journaling, everyone!

Stop by Stacy’s : 

 

 

NOW LET”S GET LINKING UP OUR JOURNALS! 

 

9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lynndmorrissey
    Aug 01, 2014 @ 18:47:52

    I appreciated your thoughts, here Stacy, and I respect how you journal. EVerything about journaling is invitational, and we do what works for us. For me, I write everything and save everything, and figure when I’m gone, my daughter can sort it all out. She’ll certainly know I’m flawed =], but I’m trying. I will say, though, it really saddens me when one’s privacy is violated. When I conduct journaling workshops, I encourage women to write transparently, but do all they can to keep their journals private. If they share, that’s their call. That said, if it is impossible to maintain your privacy, it’s better to write and discard than not write at all.
    Thanks so much for sharing.
    Lynn

    Reply

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  3. I Carried a Watermelon
    Aug 01, 2014 @ 20:53:34

    Thanks, Lynn. I did indeed write transparently in the old days (and still do concerning myself), but nothing I did seemed to keep my family out of my journals. That seems to have passed, but I haven’t reached a place where I can trust again. I have been burned too badly. I will say that the journals I have going right now will probably become the first I have saved in years. If they want to fault me for prayer that is their issue to work out.

    Reply

    • lynndmorrissey
      Aug 01, 2014 @ 21:16:22

      Again, I am so sorry taht that happened, and I’m glad that you are mostly able to work things out now. I always encourage women to keep their journas, so they can harvest their lives and see where they were, how they have progressed (or not), and how God was faithful throughout. I surely hope this will work for you n ow, and prayer is a good thing!

      Reply

  4. Carolyn
    Aug 01, 2014 @ 21:13:12

    I’m sorry you’ve been so burned, Stacy, especially by those you love most…whom you would expect to love and respect you. My closest friend and I have had conversations about this transparency issue and our journals many times. She, like you, is in favor of destroying her journals. I am not–at least for myself. My children are all adults now. They had plenty of opportunity to snoop through my writings, even my written screams (as I called them). I don’t think they did. However, I absolutely believe in keeping certain things VERY private. In my journals and especially online–on my blog. So much of life is not ours to tell to the world. A few things I’ve had permission for (my son, for example, lives with us, asked to write a guest post on my blog about his struggle with mental illness, and has given me permission write about our life together as we learn to dwell in this new place).
    All this to say, it’s not a black and white issue, but an issue of faith and wisdom and deep, ongoing prayer.
    Thank you SO much for your willingness to be vulnerable about all this. We need such conversation.

    Reply

  5. I Carried a Watermelon
    Aug 01, 2014 @ 22:45:04

    That some stories are not ours to tell is a lesson every blogger must learn, I think. I know so many who have been ripped to shreds over their words. I know I’m not always perfect at it, but my rule is that I try not to post anything that concerns anyone else unless it is positive, encouraging, and edifying. In other words, would I feel comfortable with Jesus reading over my shoulder? If the answer is no, it doesn’t get written down.

    Reply

  6. lynndmorrissey
    Aug 01, 2014 @ 23:33:10

    I really appreciate your thoughts here, Stacy, and Carolyn’s. THere’s a big difference between a private journal and a public blog or public memoir. I wouldn’t want to trash anyone publicly (and actually, I don’t want to trash anyone in my journals either; rather, I go to the Lord in prayer on paper, telling him if a situation is difficult, and asking His counsel and comfort.) I know if I am not honest in my journals, then they will never be used by the Lord in the deep way that they are in my life. We need a way to be transparent before the Lord.

    Reply

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