“If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.” Mother Theresa
So, we are halfway through this journey of Write 31 Days, and I’m at the point when I am wondering if anyone is reading these posts. Wondering if I should even be attempting this at this time. So much wondering. So little time.
Hence the post title…which probably is breaking many rules of blogging, SEO, and good title etiquette. But, I care not. Because as much as I want to write important and useful things, I have a bizarre but human desire to be acknowledged in some way. To know or be affirmed that I am actually doing that which I believe I have been called (yes, called) to do.
And that is exactly the place of discontent and the beginning of my dissatisfaction with my direction and disillusion with writing. More specifically, sharing the writing…ie. the journey.
Lately I feel torn between:
- Producing profound content or not writing at all
- Sharing everything and sharing nothing at all
- Seeking places to submit my work or not submitting anything ever again
- Revising and editing current manuscripts or burning them
- Blogging as I feel led and not bothering with blogging at all
- Pressing on or throwing in the towel
I feel a strong desire to reject that which feels extremely manipulative and disingenuous and blaze my own trail in my writing life. I also feel I must be true to who I believe I am, who I am becoming, realistic yet also unrealistic enough to reject those who do not understand-while remaining transparent enough along my journey to share both the grit and glory.
Sharing my journey of overcoming the superficial life…with grace, authenticity and truth is not just a group of words that sound good to me. They are exactly what I hope to achieve in my writing journey and life. Not a superior position of, I’ve arrived- but more, “Wow, Yes, Me too- let’s walk together for a bit!”
I don’t have all the answers. I’m tired of all the people who claim they do. I started sharing my writing to reveal that all of us have more beneath the surface than we reveal… I’m just one brave and crazy enough…or just plain foolish enough to be willing to share it.
The person I am…writer and MORE feels completely incompatible with the platform building, brand labeling, launch pitching, non-stop assault to the soul that IS normative today in both publishing and self-publishing realms.
I feel I need to make my own way, and trust God. Especially in the ways my path may not look like any other.
Isn’t that all we want? To know that at the end of the day, we have done what was good in His sight and letting the outcome rest squarely on His shoulders?
Where are you in your journey? What are you learning as you face the obstacles along the way? How will you respond to rejection of your work? How will you respond to successes?
How will you keep both success and setbacks in perspective?
What is most important for you to accomplish in your writing?
What will it look like when you accomplish it?
What does it feel like (How will you know when you have accomplished “enough”?)?
What can you learn from your reflections?
How can you best prepare?
How would taking a break from all expectations help? Hurt?
What decisions will you make with regard to your writing life for peace of mind?
This is my story, this is my song…
I am Writing Redeemed in October for 31 Days