Welcome to my journal. Here you will get a peek into the pages of my heart. Unedited (for the most part) and as they were written. I do leave out portions which are extremely personal or potentially intrusive to those I love; also some of my wildly long, rambling tangents. But otherwise I try to be brave enough to inspire you to feel safe to bare your soul a bit. Have no fear here. This is a place to share your heart and be encouraged.
Interestingly, just seven days after I wrote this post I would injure my hip during my daughter’s field day, and this little writing excursion called blogging which started as a burning desire in my heart would become like a healing balm over my life.
May 20, 2011
@ 1:20 PM
Friday
Dear Lord,
This is a record week for needed confession-from Sunday’s incident at the White Water Rafting Trip to the ultimate distraction, laziness and hypocrisy I am drowning in today! Today really is more than a culmination of more than this week…But, Lord, that being said…knowing that you are the God who loves me, saves me and GUIDES me, I appeal to you…this daughter needs you to reign her in.
So much needs prayer…
Lord, today was a rare day- I did not start with you in prayer and focus. Not to mention I was up until 3 AM- the night before trying to create my Blog space. Well, I thank you that I did finally create my first post on my Blog- Thank You , Lord! My heart could not rest until I gave birth to this which I do believe is your will for me in the sense of my love of writing, sharing and You!
I have been thinking a lot lately about direction and desire… these lead me back to You again and again. Writing, teaching, growing in my intimacy with You. Your Kingdom work…the gifts you’ve gifted me with.
Oh, back to sin-I know Lord, this week I see a trail of it.
This week I felt like the traffic of sin was flowing heavy through my life.
One bad decision after another…and distraction as well as selfishness and laziness have been huge on my Hit List. I feel overwhelmed, cluttered and in a rut. That is the bad news. The good news is that despite THAT – I don’t feel LESS loved by You, Lord. You are the difference.
Lord, I need your Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth with power to change me…to the one you desire to transform me into…
Help me, by your grace.
Well, thanks for peeking in my journal-I hope you leave here with a bit of inspiration to live raw and real in Him, for Him, by Him and through Him! Ain’t nothing like it, friends!
God Bless You, ALL- everyone!
I am grateful to know that we live by faith not be sight and we follow the One who is faithful, not our feelings. But either way, I am with you on the Journey! I pray your journal is a place of sanctifying intimacy with the One who is The Living Word.
Join in as we share for Random Journal Day this month, and I hope this Re-Post blesses you. I tweaked it and Re-shared it from Random Journal Day #8 (Birth of a Blog) over at my former Blog: Beneath the Surface: Breath of Faith. ‘Tis The season! You can find all of the RJD posts with many wonderful Journals shared there as well as here.
To see where we are gathering to start, GO HERE!
Dawn, I prayed a portion of your journal entry, because it “hit” squarely in my soul. Thank you, for sharing!
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Re-reading old journal entries is a bit humbling at times, too! It reminds me of reading about Israel…and we think UGH! THere they go again, same old sins, different days! Then I realize…I AM Israel.
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I just love and admire your “raw-ness”! Also, I took photos of some notebooks I redid in denim to add to your collection of journals (not nearly as professional looking as yours, but, well, “raw”.) Have a good weekend.
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Denim journals? Please do share? That sounds awesome!
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It’s a great way to recycle old notebooks that are otherwise falling apart. I’ll instagram.
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Oh, thank you for bravely sharing your “raw and real.” That’s a big reason to keep a personal journal, don’t you think? Not just the being able to pour out our hearts, and the humbling that can come from the rereads, but the way the love of God shines through the remembrances.
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You’ve come a long way since then haven’t you? I love the thought of you staying up until 3am to create your first blog-site. Totally understand the inner compulsion to do the thing that’s been tugging at you relentlessly. And then it feels SO GOOD to finally do it!
Yay for more awesome years of blogging our little hearts out!
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Love this!!!
You are so real.
🌸
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Such GOOD NEWS: “The good news is that despite THAT – I don’t feel LESS loved by You, Lord.” So glad that you obeyed and started the blog…your blog has ministered to me over and over again dear kindred! Love and blessings-Kel
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Oh, seriously- DITTO in the HOUSE! lol. Hugs, Kel!
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[Dawn and journaling friends: I wrote this prayer in my journal on 15 August 15.]
Oh, Father! I am such a vagrant. For some reason, that word just popped into my head. Or should that be vagabond? I’m suddenly reminded of a poem I wrote–Hobo Soul–was that it? Well, these are all the right words for the state of my soul right now! So did Your Spirit prompt them?!
[Then I looked up vagabond and wrote the following in my journal.]
VAGABOND: a person w/o a permanent home, who moves from place to place. A tramp (like my hobo soul idea) of or relating to characteristics of a wanderer. Aimless; drifting. Irregular in course or behavior; unpredictable; to roam about.
Wow, Lord! These DO apply! I am a guilty vagabond and spiritual vagrant, wandering around from place to emotional place–just drifting down the lazy ol’ river, man (as Anne Ortlund said in the opening of Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman), with no clear sense of direction–aimless, wayward, unrestrained, LIVING RANDOMLY, unfocused free-for-all!!! Distracted. Disoriented. Derailed. SIDETRACKED! You name it, Lord. I am wasting my days, my time, ergo–MY LIFE!!
[Then the word PRODIGAL came to mind, so I looked it up and wrote it in my journal. Obviously, I knew what all these words meant, but to have their *exact* meanings is extremely helpful.]
PRODIGAL: Recklessly wasteful; extravagant; profuse in giving; exceedingly abundant…..
[LIKE MY FRIEND KEL ROHLF, I LOVE WORDS AND TO SEE WHERE THEY LEAD. SO I LOOKED UP EXTRAVAGANT.]
Extravagant: Given to lavish or imprudent expenditure. Exceeding reasonable bounds; unrestrained; extremely abundant; profuse. Archaic: straying beyond limits or bounds: wandering…
[So after all my reading, I told that Lord that I am an extravagant vagabond!! It’s not a compliment obviously. I felt led to write an alpha poem or sometimes called an abecedarian poem. The idea is to form a spine acrostic with each letter of the alphabet beginning the new line, whether as a continuation of a previous sentence or starting a new one. I often pray to God in this way, because the acrostic causes me to glean new insights or use words I usually wouldn’t. For example, in the following peom, you will see the words attune and galvanize, which I may not have customarily used. It is also amazing how quickly and deeply these poems flow–on the average of 5-10 minutes. I chose as my spine “EXTRAVAGANT VAGABOND,” and then fleshed the poem around it. You can’t see the bold letters here, but they would spell the acrostic. The rest of the poem would be in regular print. I learned much about myself in writing this, and really unbosomed to the Lord. I am vulnerably baring my soul to you here, in case someone recognizes herself. Oh, and when your acrostic, uses an X, either use an X word like xylophone, or an “ex” word.]
Extravagant Vagabond
by Lynn D. Morrissey
Extricate me, Lord, from this vagabond life of
X-xtravagant dissipation.
Tame my time, and make me holily temperate.
Restrain my wandering waywardness. Make me
Attentive. I am
Vacillating in every direction, as scattered as
Ash on a windy day. Oh, God!
Gather me up; gather my thoughts and deeds and desires into Your
All-encompassing Person, purpose, and passion. Make me
Negligent of all that seeks to distract or allure.
Tether me to You. Give me Your
Vision for my life—Your singly focused eye.
Attune my ears to the perfect pitch of Your voice.
Galvanize my will to Yours.
Attract me to Your Word, your world, your way, so I’m no longer
Blown like a prodigal puff of dandelion seeds, scattered
Out in every conceivable direction. I have sinned egregiously. I
Need You now, more than ever, to stop this
Downward spiral of destruction. Help me, Lord!
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Lynn! And to this I say, and why does .she not have her own blog? lol, I too love to follow word meanings and am led away on adventures of discovery and creativity. This must be what we always enjoy each other so much! That could have been a great post to share…and I am GLAD you shared it here! Love this poem. Also have to read Anne’s book, I got it free from somewhere recently. Scooped it up quick as a bunny! Classic Christian literature.
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Dawn, you are always so kind, generous, and gracious to me!!! Thank you so much. I will share your post for its own merit. I love how you encourage women both to journal and to share. You’d be a natch at live journal facilitation and I hope you will consider doing that some day. We still need to do a retreat. Kel joined me in doing one for my women’s circle at church recently, and it was very meaningful. Oh my goodness. God wants you to read this book!!!! I knew Anne Ortlund, personally, she was an incredible mentor to me. Get past the first chapter, which, when I read it years ago, seemed fluffy to me, even as a new Christian. But this little gem is anything but that. Her simplicity and Spirit-led, razor-sharp insight is profound. Her “notebook,” I’m convinced, was the prototype of good planners. And, I might add, she wrote all her prayers!! I reference her in LLTG (maybe not by name, but I did mention her…also in acknowledgments). also, I went to her home for 2 days (in CA) in 2004. She (and I) felt God leading me not to write and speak shortly after my book debuted. Very, very painful decision….but I’m starting to feel led back. Thank you for your affirmation. Oh, and on Anne….she lived what she preached. I asked to see her notebook when I was there (like a sacred work to me), and there were all her prayers….plus other things you would put in a planner. She had rheams of them. Let me know what you think after you read it!!!! xxoo
Lynn
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Thank you so much for such an intimate share. My goal is to do scripture study before leaving for work, but 9 times out of 10, I get distracted by other things that need to get done before I leave. Thinking of switching to evening study – this way I’m not rushed. But something doing this in the morning is like revving up the engine for my day
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love you dear friend, always.
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Hope you can follow my blog too.
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