I’m continuing to share some of the posts previously written in the years I was blessed – and sometimes stressed, as I navigated the bumpyroads of motherhood. This looking back and remembering is somehow keeping me during this time following my daughter’s death. How it pains me to write those words. Yet, I continue to be kept by the One who keeps all things, who knows all things, who all things have been made by, through, and for…and who will somehow keep keeping me. It is all beyond my knowing.
Today, I share a lighthearted moment. One that we did laugh about, and one that still makes me smile. I am so grateful God gave me the wherewithall to write these things…as well as a supportive Christian blogging communty at the time who cheered me on through the ups and downs of parenting. God has graced me with amazing friendships near and far, some I have met in person and many I have not! Some of you will remember when I shared this story back in 2012. Either way, I hope it brings you a smile and kindles a memory of your own either of your childhood or parenting and navigating the haircare years. God bless you, friends. Thanks for being here.
Today marks one month since I found my sweet baby girl asleep, without life in her body. An incomprehensible reality no parent would hope upon hope never to ever believe would be theirs. But this IS our reality. As we continue to wait for answers that are yet forthcoming, I find comfort in turning to the past and trying to remember all the precious things that God has allowed us to experiece together. When there are no answers, we turn to a God who I am beginning to realize, maybe for the first time, is truly incomprehensible. Or as one of my favorite authors, Elisabeth Elliot has said, “If God was small enough to be understood, he wouldn’t be big enough to be God.”
This post today was from my earlier blogging days, I posted it in 2011, and again in 2012. Both my mom and daughter are no longer with us on this side of eternity as we walk into 2021. Originally titled The Magical Day, I offer up this priceless memory of mother, daugher, and grandmother.
Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earthby your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. ~Jeremiah 32:17
To my friends near and far and around the globe, I am sharing a post I wrote in my earlier blogging days. A time when I wrote and shared prolifically. In those early blogging days, I wrote about my dear daughter, Katherine Grace, occasionally. These are moments captured and I long to look back through the lens of time and see what encouragement I might find in the remembering. As I am (and we are) still trying to fathom our great loss in the death of our precious daughter- our one and only child, I wanted to revisit these earlier writings and share them here. I originally wanted to compile a list of these writings with links, but thought it might be better to re-post them as some of them needed mild revisions having been transferred over from my former blog, Beneath the Surface: Breath of Faith, and were glitchy.
I hope these bless the reader. I am often blessed and surprised as I re-read some of my writing. I write to remember because, well, honestly I think I am just forgetful. Maybe that’s why God allows me writing. It keeps me connected to Him…and mindful of what matters when I forget.
Today, I am sharing a piece I wrote and shared on this blog back in 2014. For those who have followed me in this public place and may not know, the beautiful girl these words were written for has left God’s good earth and is seeing things we have only yet imagined. Katherine Grace, our beautiful daughter passed away on January 9th, 2021. This certainly has made the longing for Heaven stronger within me now than ever before. I rediscovered this memory and poem-letter as we prepared our 20- year -old daughter Katherine’s memorial service-something I still find hard to believe is our reality at the moment. I know God gave me the wherewithall to write these words…words that are worth sharing have been gifts for my soul…like manna sustaining me on a long journey. I don’t really have words right now, but I am clinging to The One who is the Word to sustain me until I do. For now I give you the words given me a few years back. When I can, I want to write everything I can remember about this beaitiful girl we have loved. I want to keep remembering, and never forget…right now, everything is hard, and unreal, and life itself seems irrelevent. My heart longs for home…our hearts ache beyond words. As never before we know what it is to sit silently before the Lord, knowing He has the final word. May these words bring hope for your weary heart, wherever you are on your path. May you know the One who sustains all things always now and forever. Amen.