The Day She Prayed for a Brother

Dear reader, if you find yourself new to this place, I welcome you. I am currently revisiting and sharing from the archives of past written blog posts while I work through a season of grief.

I long to share more in the near future, but for now, I am traveling slowly through the peaks and valleys of this uncharted geography.

May the words I share here find their way to the one who will find them helpful. Amen.

There I stand, tripping over Tupperware containers strewn about the floor. She sits at the table coloring. These are the days of Play-Doh, crayons and finger -paints.  The times of wooden spoon drumming on upside down pans. She turns to me as I scurry about the kitchen in my busy-mom mode, interrupting my momentum abruptly by the one… simple… request.

“Mommy, I want a little brother or sister.”

I pause and weigh heavy my response. Yet, I am not sure of what to say, wanting to avoid what I do not know or am unsure about, really. What comes out is, “Sweetheart, you can ask God by praying.”

Thinking to myself, I have answered well,  I continue once more with my kitchen busy work.

As I move about, she, still seated at the table, folds her hands, bows her head and utters these words, “Dear God, please give me a baby brother or sister.  Amen”

I smile at her sweet expectant faith. Until she comes over and tugs on my pants, looking up at me with a slightly perturbed expression.  I ask her what’s the matter, as her eyes dart around the kitchen  expectantly.  You’d have thought something was about to  fall from the ceiling. She looks at me, Junior Mint eyes, directly and replies “Well, I prayed. Where’s my brother or sister?”

You know, friends, my sweet girl was almost three at the time she said this,

yet aren’t we just like that sometimes? We pray. Perhaps pray again. We wait. We’re expectant, hopeful.

But then we tap our foot, drum our fingers on the tabletop, fold our arms and humph. We demand an answer.

But when God does not answer us right away or He doesn’t answer a specific prayer the way we think he should we wonder,  “Why, Lord? “

Sometimes we forget that our God knows the beginning from the end. He has His eye on eternity and  every hair on our head. He knows what needs to come to pass and what needs to be held back. He knows the when. We may not understand why God allows certain prayers to be answered immediately while others seem to remain unanswered. Elizabeth Elliot says it best, “If God were small enough to be understood, He wouldn’t be big enough to be God.”  Wow. Let that sink in and set you free. This God who has eternity etched in the palm of His hands is the same God who leans in close and hears our prayers. So raise your voice to Him who is listening, and utter words from thoughts He already knows.

He is good, He is trustworthy, He is listening.

The Lord makes firm the steps 
    of the one who delights in him;
 though he may stumble, he will not fall, 
    for the Lord upholds him with his hand. Psalm 37:23-24