Some of the journals from this transformational year.
One night last week I decided to let my Facebook followers choose which journal to share (from three) for Random Journal Day.
Cathie H. chose the “Heart” journal from the group pictured above. As I began to thumb through the pages I was overwhelmed with the perfection of this choice and how important it is to be able to look back on our written journals to see clearly what we forget. My One Word for this year is Redeemed.
I mean, really it could be my word every year, right? But, this year I knew God was calling me to walk in it more boldly and confidently than ever before. Now as I look back on this journal, I see all the seeds…of His will and purpose right there written on those pages when He first opened my eyes.
Today, I am sharing with you what is one of the earliest poems I wrote after Jesus Christ became my One and Only Hope, Savior, Lord. This journal is full of an excited girl who discovered a God who was not only real, but able to clearly communicate with her. This record of my “bowled over” response, in my awakening to His grace, love, mercy and truth, is a gift to me to re-read after years of enculturation into the churched communities I have travelled. If ever there was evidence that God is found by those who are unchurched…this is it! Friends, I was an opinionated, vocal, religiously opposed, independent, liberal-minded person. BUT, God met me where I was….and brought me to where I am today. Which is exactly the same– but with a completely opposite view-point as before! You know, I never forget that…I know what it is like to live without the mind of Christ, and then be transformed by His grace. It is easy to keep it real when you remember.
My Testimony in Poem
I listened and paused to look your way
busy chasing my own dreams, not ready to obey.
Barely hesitating, uncertain in my glance,
Surely I ‘m not worthy – so I left my life to chance…
You called again,
this time I stopped and pondered on your truth.
I contemplated, as you waited-
patient through and through.
You watched me in my blindness
falter, stumble and fall.
You watched with loving, longing eyes but I couldn’t comprehend it all.
You reached to me from heaven,
and tried to lift me up-
how sad I didn’t understand the blood within the cup.
Still, you did not give up…
I stood my ground stubbornly.
Full of pride and confidence,
I clung to my own ignorance-
thinking ” I can do this on my own”.
So satan smiled for a little while,
another sinner lost- and far from home.
But…the love of Jesus!
Crucified, for me he died- Yes, even me!
Humbly, I fell to my knees,
at last the realization,
no more need for contemplation.
Jesus has made me see! Jesus has set me free!
In His name is my victory.
Now, I give thanks every day.
I praise the Lord, I thank the Lord,
for His Son who is The Life, The Truth, The Way.
I lay down my life, I give it all to Him –
in His name I live and pray.
To God be the Glory,
In Jesus name, Amen.
What this poem looked like in process as it came out in my journal. Why do people think that creating is a neat and perfect process? …lol, my process is messy!
*If you want to see another excerpt from this journal, check out this link at my former blog: Awakened By Grace (RJD Link Up 2) 4/8/12
COme on over and join us for Random Journal Day – all weekend- when a bunch of crazy journal keepers share from their own journal archives!