I’m smiling at the absurdity, perfection and beauty of it all…
I returned home from church this morning with a headache and decided to lay down. The week has had it’s ups and downs, and still how the simplest things can bring forth wonder, joy and reverence. I show up at church looking forward to the message. Our Pastor is preaching and teaching on John Chapter 4 and the woman at the well, who is no stranger to me. I’ve heard messages and teaching on this passage so many times, and guess what? I never tire of it. There are some passages that just resonate, yes? There are some messages that can be preached and re-preached and studied, meditated on, swallowed and still they continue to bring forth fruit, growth, conviction, truth, beauty.
“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” (Romans 11:33)
Our church is on the second of a three week sermon which will end next week. I never tire of the Jesus that is revealed in this precious section of scripture. Never. That’s MY Jesus. I am amazed daily at this God who never tires of meeting us in out of the way places. In dry, parched places and seasons of drought, even when these seasons are caused by our own foolishness. What is it about THIS God? Who seeks after the one, disobedient, strong willed and defiant lamb, leaving the satisfied flock to fend for themselves. Until He brings back that which is lost. This God whose love and faithfulness never waver. Oh friends, He does satisfy his flock with good things. And He never, ever leaves His troubled sheep. Yet for the self-satisfied, He waits until they are so sick with the filler of this world that they finally desire the true nourishment of His grace, mercy and love. He is patient. His embrace is never more than one turn away…we take the smallest step toward Him, and doesn’t He take three giant steps toward us?
I don’t get this God, and I can’t get enough of Him and Elisabeth Elliot was so right when she proclaimed “If God is small enough to be understood then He is not big enough to be God” and I concur with awe. I don’t get this God, but I so get His grace. I’m reliant on His mercy and love. I lay in bed a few minutes ago and it suddenly dawned on me, the profundity of this God. My Pastor asked if I would share something I wrote about this woman at the well. A post I wrote awhile back on this here blog. Like, out loud. You, know, actually read the words in front of people.
Isn’t it funny that I have so much to say, but the thought of actually saying those words in front of people reminds me of what a failure I really am? I know that when I speak in front of groups I get all tongue tied, and the words choke up in my throat and refuse to come out and I will see *people* who I fear don’t really like me anyway, who surely will be judging and criticising me. Who don’t like Samaritan women like me.
Is this why I write?
So, I hesitated to say yes OR no, because I suspected God was in it and who am I to argue with God. Um, even though I do- but that is another post, altogether. But, our Pastor spoke to my hubby and I today to make sure I did not feel pressured and discuss if I felt comfortable sharing and if not that it was OK as well. (Have I mentioned how much I love my Pastor and His wife?) So as I lay on my bed contemplating the conversation, I was reminded of the few times my writing had been described as “profound”.
That word has been used a few times very recently with regard to my writing. I confess sometimes I go back and re-read my writing to try and “see” the profound. Because here is the great big wonderful truth. That anyone would say my writing is in fact profound is a complete, beautiful testimony to this One True Living God.. .who lives in me! It’s a bit absurd in the most beautiful way. I’m not profound at all but it gives me great pleasure knowing there is a profound God living in me. And He shines through in the words He gives. I have proof!
I dropped out of school in 10th grade (long story – wait for the book), although I later returned to continue on, getting my GED and also onto complete college and continued studies. While in college as a returning adult student and new Christian one of my professors had us keep journals which we had to turn in, full of self reflections and observations concerning this particular class. At one point he took me aside and said my writing was “profound”. He proceeded to read a passage in the class. I almost did not recognize my own writing. It was as if another had written from within me. I considered this compliment one of the greatest I ever received and a clung to it – and let it be grace to my exposed soul. I did not often, if ever share my writing. And many of these words were of the soul baring kind. The kind that leave one feeling naked. Exposed. Yet not only did he give me a gift, he affirmed the gift within me, even my very nakedness in a beautiful way. It would be many years before I would actually be brave (or crazy) enough to share my writing publicly.
If I ever write anything profound, if that profundity is evident in any words I write (or speak), it is because God IS profound.
It is because He lives in me.
A mystery and beautiful absurdity, indeed!
God lives in me and He is a profound God!
If that Profound God lives in me, chooses to dwell within this temporary tent, then the profound is possible! Isn’t that profound?
The same is true for you!
God is profound in each of us in different ways.
Let’s not let the enemy keep us from sharing the profundity of God!
Would you consider praying for God’s good and perfect will with regard to sharing next Sunday as part of the last message on John Chapter 4?
Dear Lord, thank you for your mercy, grace and profundity! You are a God who loves us faithfully.
I ask that you would allow my voice to resonate with your heart next Sunday and that I would be completely Christ conscious and not self-conscious while sharing the words you have given me. May the true joy of knowing you be evident to all, and may the words I read be water and encouragement to those who need your Living Water. Mostly allow me to remember that your grace is sufficient for me, your power is made perfect in weakness. PS. Remind me also that you are profound IN me. Thank you for your Holy Spirit, who guides us into all truth.
**Please note, I LOVE OUR CHURCH! This is not about members of our church but enemy warfare that takes place in the minds of all believers. So Spiritual Armour on, and join me in casting down the lofty thoughts that raise themselves above our Awesome God.
Thanks for listening, I know this was a lengthy Sunday post, but hey- who can predict profundity.
Loving that word, today!