|Button by Farmgirl Paints
There I am popping onto the Internet, coffee cup sitting just to my right, on the desk. I am unsuspecting, and looking forward to checking in on my blog, my Google Friend Connect Reader for fresh posts on blogs I follow and of course peeking in on friends on Facebook.
When I least expect it, I see the number staring back at me. It’s down one. My stomach feels sick.
I think to myself, it shouldn’t bother you. It doesn’t matter.
I feel rejected.
Distracted by a number.
My mind races as I consider the number of followers on other blogs.
I hate myself for thinking it.
It brings me right back to Junior High.
I’m standing in the bathroom, brushing my hair…
hating the reflection staring back at me.
A fellow student walks up and says “You’re hair is so pretty”
I feel sick and respond “Not really.”
I explain how ugly it is, as if she has not seen clearly,
and she smiles leaving me standing alone with my own self-loathing.
It’s silly, right?
I am an adult.
I have a life.
I’ve grown beyond this.
One number makes me feel like I was sucker punched.
It’s why I moved that GFC follow button to the bottom of my blog.
So that every time I looked at my blog I did not seek that
number to affirm me…
who has the ultimate affirmation in His Holiness.
Who has met His grace and believes in His believing in me.
Why do we seek our value in meaningless numbers?
The scale, a salary…followers?
When He Himself has said…”I will never leave you or forsake you.”
Who has also said, “be content with such things as you have.”
Be content with what you have. Whatever it is.
If we have Him, why would we seek other validation?
We are defined by His grace.
Set apart for His pleasure.
Pursued by the one who approves us full well.
Who longs to be our friend,
even while we were unlovely, desperate, needy.
One who will never reject us,
Un-follow or un-friend us.
Because He is faithful.
I have come across a blogger and artist who has removed that badge
of Approval Seeking madness, and invited others to do the same.
So, how about you?
Do you have a love – hate relationship with the number of followers you have?
Could you be Follower free?
Why or why not?
I have been toying with this for awhile…
Offer me some input!
Just sharing Becky’s button since it is a beautiful place to visit: