A Motherhood Memory (RDJ #7)

A favorite Mary Engelbreit Journal

This excerpt comes from my early days as a new mom. I was a single mom for two years and rarely spent time away from my sweet new gift. This day my mom had come to give me a much needed break to get away to enjoy some writing and reflection at Starbucks. My sweet baby girl was just two months old. Torrential downpours and Thunderstorms caused some pondering…and new sensitivity into the heart of what it means to bear the name, Mom.
Join me in the moment, as I share from my new mom heart, over a cup of coffee while the rain pours outside the local Starbucks…
Well, here I am at Starbucks-my first time coffee shop writing since Katherine!
Mom is with her, worrying about me I’m sure. It is very windy and rainy with a severe thunderstorm watch in effect till midnight. 
Since I have become a mother, the guilt factor in my life has come to a huge climax
I drove off thinking…it’s not too late to turn around, should I go? etc. 
Lord, I pray- bless my mom and KG (Katherine Grace) now.
 Bless this time I have alone with you, now. 
Be with my thoughts, it’s Christmas week and I am excited…peaceful…
contemplating as usual the new year: also, how my life has changed.

I was thinking about resolutions for the new year and this year I decided that my list will be about others and my my relationship with those God has brought into my life.

The theme is others and how I can better serve 
and be more Christlike in these relationships

I pray for this now. Lord, how can I be more loving to my mom? Honor her?
How can I make her know she is loved?

How about Angelo? (We were long time friends not married, yet!)
These are the two most important people in my life.
 And of course my pride, joy and gift, Katherine- 
well I pray every day to be the best mom to her.
Anyway, my New Years Resolution, Lord is,
 how can I honor and please you in my relations
 with those you have in my life (each day even)? 

Lord, thank you for what you have shown me about myself.
I do not like these things so much but it keeps me 
from having any delusional ideas about who I am.

Lord, what are your plans for me? 
Motherhood is the greatest role and gift ever.
I guess I can admit that being a wife and mother would be
 the most fulfilling roles to play in life in a way. 
I guess everything else pales in comparison to God’s gifts- 
and these are impossible to have without God’s blessing; 
without being a gift from Him who knows how to give perfect gifts. 

 I wrote for six pages before finally satisfied and willing to step back into reality,
 initiated by- 
The Phone Call…

Mom just called. 
Big worry wart! But it’s sweet. 
I know she’s worried and as a mom now, 
I am more understanding- it IS bad out. 
Well, I guess I should head home.
I’m concerned about my baby, too. Oh, well.
Thank you Lord for this time had. 

Published by enthusiasticallydawn

Dawn Paoletta is the author of Journaling for Discovery and Delight. Her writing is included in several anthologies and her poems have been included in the Wickford Poetry and Art Exhibit and Books. Dawn is currently working on her next book. Inquiries at dawn.paoletta@gmail.com

7 thoughts on “A Motherhood Memory (RDJ #7)

  1. Dawn: This speaks for each new mother as they enter this phase of life. Our son was a birth-defect child. We didn't know what would happen. God was with us through all those years of surgery. I am thankful that we have a son who shows us love and respect. I sometimes still wonder if I truly qualify as a “good mother.”


  2. Man…how well I remember feeling this way. Your writing draws me right back to it–the fears, the desires, the need to be right with God, right for your child, be EVERYTHING…that's what is so cool about these RDJs–they remind us how much we all have in common.Thanks again for starting them (with Susie)Carolyn, aka Jeskmom


  3. Being a Mom, a new mom, is a real time of change isn't it? Thank you for sharing your journal and reflections with us. You have come so far! Bless you!


  4. What a beautiful reflective post.It must have felt amazing to look at back at that time.Thank you for sharing this lovely post. I hope your Mothers Day was blessed!


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