The Wellspring

I wonder if over the course of days, of these years that seem lost, if we haven’t all allowed ourselves to be distracted. Not in the small sense, but in the way that is akin to sleeping at the wheel and veering completely off the road. Somewhere between the kingdoms of seen and unseen realms there seems such a shift, that regardless of where you stand, you’d have had to notice.

I know I have been wrapped up too much, and for too long in other people’s agendas and expectations. Both worried for things that matter and many that don’t, for naught. Like the paper piles that have accumulated on the kitchen counters or mail no-one wants to open, I’ve exhausted the very grief that continues to carry me, and I wonder if this grief isn’t a part of something so much bigger than I conceive. I wonder if there is a point of no return, and there is an accumulation of grieving taking place beyond my four walls, my small town, in this here smallest state in the USA…is the world not grieving? Not just for the losses in lives at the hands of a massive “pandemic” but, perhaps at its own foolishness. As if a mask has come off and the face staring back at the masses disappears again into the clouds, and crowds- but the truth is, the mask was a mirror, and the reflection we have seen has caused pandemonium. So amidst this grieving world, some are thrashing wildly around, others are looking up, and some are just so angry and disoriented they can’t stop lashing out at others. The race resumes, it’s the beginning of Autumn. The gate opens, the pace picks up, and they’re off… and running again!

Where does it end?

I ask myself in light of these days of saving grace…in a world that beckons I come again and run. Come, and have my fill. Have I forgotten who I am?

Have I forgotten the One who called me out of the darkness into His glorious light?

Have I forgotten who called me to share His power and presence in my life with others, trusting not in the spoils of this world, but in Him alone?

Have I forgotten who made my heart leap for joy? Forgotten who said, “I will never leave nor, forsake you?”

There is no formula to know God. This I know. Do I believe it? Do you? Do we believe with our hearts what we confess with our mouths…? Do we really believe what we say we do? What are we believing and trusting in? Relying on? Hoping for…more importantly, hoping in?

For he himself has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you. Also within this passage of scripture are the words: so we can confidently say, The Lord is my helper; I WILL NOT FEAR what can man do to me?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve spent too much time the past, oh, I don’t know…LIFETIME, worrying about the things MAN can do to me. The government, the president, the speaker of the house, the crazy neighbor 5 houses down, communism, the people who I love, the people who love me, the people who do NOT like me at all, people who I don’t like, people from my past, people who I don’t know well (!), co-workers, friends of friends, frenemies, haters who hate for no particular reason and the list goes on and on. Then there’s God…this incomprehensible Deity, who calls me by my name and says, in the humanity of Jesus Christ, himself a man…yet God, “Come”…and I cannot deny Him. There is no formula for knowing God, this I believe, but what I do know is this, “a broken spirit and a contrite heart, he will not deny“. Note: Different scripture versions use the word despise, reject, etc. in place of deny, I’m just shooting off the cuff so you can check out the passage for yourself in Psalm 51 (linked at end of post).

There is no formula to know God anymore than there is a formula to be a friend. Or to have peace. One day you open the Holy Scripture, the next He reveals wisdom in His creation, another day he speaks through a stranger, a friend, a song, or some other manner. This God follows no script. Answers to no man, bows not to smaller gods. But, He holds out a continuous invite for those who qualify…might you have a broken spirit and contrite heart?

God is not far. Though wars rage, climate changes, worlds collide and chaos threatens. God stands unphased. But He is not untouched, nor complacent. Though you may think you cannot see Him, know Him, or have any impact or influence in the heavenly domain, and you wonder whether He is speaking anymore to anyone at all, or if He ever did.

Maybe one could start with a stop?

Stop complaining. Stop criticising. Stop consuming. Stop concerning yourself with all of the things you can’t control. Stop where you are.

Now listen…

for the breeze outside the windows, to the whirr of passing cars, for the semi-silent hum of electricity. Wait and continue to wait, in the quiet for the quiet. Wait for the quiet as one hungry, holding out hands for their portion of bread.

Wait.

When the quiet finds you, may you welcome it and may you find in it the same strength providing stillness that speaks to your soul. May it be yours and may you embrace it. May you find supreme satisfaction in whatever small portion of the day you dare to acknowledge Him and may He himself be the balm for whatever ails you.

As for me, I have found Him still to be sufficient, though in my own insufficiency I continue to fail in many ways. He himself, has promised…”I will never leave nor forsake you.” Therefore, I will continue to wholly rely on Him. He has shown himself a wellspring to me- yes. A continual supply of all I need.

May He be your peace and portion today.

(Primary scriptures noted in blog post: Psalm 51, Hebrews 13:5-6)

If you want to know more about my faith in Christ, how and what I believe and why you can read more here. Or send me an e-mail at dawn.paoletta@gmail.com.

If your in the neighborhood and want to chat over coffee sometime, I’d love to talk about all the crazy ways God is good, even when life isn’t and all the things He’s teaching me, as I go, despite my slightly wayward heart and endless stream of questions.

For public events and other randoms go here.

Enthusiastically, Dawn

Dawn Paoletta likes to write, ignore rules, and confess her transgressions while driving. She believes caffeine enhances her personality, and is self -admittedly, the only living expert on the subject of how to conduct one’s vehicle at a 4-way stop sign. Check out more here.