Breaking Free From Approval Addiction

I have a confession to make. 
I am a “People Pleaser”,
and it can be rather bothersome at times.
 I really want to be liked and accepted.
I want to be able to say with Sally Field,
“You like me, you really like me”.
However, life is not an awards ceremony and ultimately
people pleasing is a rather exhausting and frustrating activity.

 The good news is, I am in recovery

The bad news is, sometimes I relapse.
The best news is God loves me anyway AND
 “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”!

Now don’t get all preachy on me,
I know I am supposed to want to please only God.

 But I have three things (last count) working against me and 
I sometimes don’t recognize them, at least right away.
 They are the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life.
They are common to all of us who believe.
All sin will fall into one of those categories at its root.

Fortunately, Jesus supplies us with all we need to do battle with all three.

First of all, He laid down His life to gain our freedom and give us victory over sin and death.

Then, He gives us our Spiritual Armour, His Holy Spirit, grace for the journey and friends in our faith.
He lives to intercede for us and never abandons us.

So how is it we, or I, still manage to find myself entangled in sin?
 “The devil made me do it”, is not something that a believer really can say.
The book of James tells us it’s our own desires that lead us astray.
 Jesus has severed the puppet strings which Satan held on any believer who calls on His name in faith.
So it goes back to the big three.
All three are involved in the area of people pleasing.
In it’s most subtle way it can lead us off God’s path for our lives as well as impact
 His will in the work He is doing in the lives of others.
 It can busy us with activities that are not in accordance with His Ephesians 2:10 “good works”  prepared in advance for us to do.
 It leads to discouragement with self, others and at times, those we want to please most!
So how can we avoid the “PP” in our lives?
Well, I will say we follow the One who came to lead the way.
We pray, confess, and bring it into the light.
Darkness and light are incompatible.
Sharing our struggles with another brings light and keeps the enemy from making mincemeat
out of we little sheep!
That being said, remember that pleasing people is a by-product (sometimes) of pleasing God.

He is able to make our enemies at peace with us.
How much more will he allow us to be pleasing to those who
love us anyway and grant us favor with others?

 In the end, knowing that regardless of who likes us or doesn’t, 
we are completely accepted, embraced and loved, 
not just “liked” by the One who has given us all we need 
for every good work by the power working in us in Christ Jesus. 

You think about that. 
And be sure to let me know if you like my post. 
Oops, relapse. 
  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Have a God pleasing day, friends!

 Repost: Originally posted as
“Confessions Of A Recovering People Pleaser”

Inspired to revisit, edit and post after this recent post:
To Un-Follow And Un-Friend

Linking with Laura at Beholding Glory for Faith Filled Friday:

Beholding Glory

Published by enthusiasticallydawn

Dawn Paoletta is the author of Journaling for Discovery and Delight. Her writing is included in several anthologies and her poems have been included in the Wickford Poetry and Art Exhibit and Books. Dawn is currently working on her next book. Inquiries at

6 thoughts on “Breaking Free From Approval Addiction

  1. Dawn, Love it..I read to Un-Follow and Un-Friend. I'm linking up from Faith Filled Friday, and am so glad I landed just behind you in line. I enjoy your writing and am a new follower.Blessings, peace and good to you.


  2. Hi Dawn,I enjoyed your post, and yes, I was guilty of being a PP my whole life because that is the way my parents raised me. They made me believe that I could only be loved if I was perfect. Well, you know where that got me! It brought on much heart ache and disappointment. It made me unhappy with myself and with most everyone else!I'm happy to say, today I more of a God Pleaser which has made my life so much easier and happier. And I thank Him for breaking me free from the bondage I had been in. God is good!Blessings,Sandi


  3. I think it is the way we have been brought up…we are expected to please others and not ourselves…but the most important ONE to please is God, and as our friend Susie at “Recovering Church Lady” says, “Pleasing God is not as difficult as you think.” He loves us just the way we are…and if there is something He wants to change in us, He'll take care of it. Our part is to commit our way unto Him…and He will bring it to pass…(or Proverbs 16:3~”commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.”) The question to ask is not am I pleasing people (who often just cannot ever be pleased), but am I glorifying God with what I say and do? Do I do this for me…or for Jesus? If for Jesus…He gets all the credit and praise and honor. Even our failures He can turn into His purposes for success…so we can't lose. That gives me great comfort when I lay me down to sleep at night. Amen?


  4. Oh yikes. Me too. Less today than yesterday. By hHis grace still less tomorrow. Those verses from I John are my husband's life's verses, written on his forehead, so to speak. I also see how my daughters are both people pleasers and I want them to learn much earlier than I did how to Stand and stand and stand. Walking in a manner worthy of HIM!PS. I did like this post.


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