Enthusiastically, Dawn

This morning I woke up when my alarm began sounding in the usual annoying manner. The fact that my alarm clock has four legs, and a pink nose and also happens to be the cutest and most annoying creature I know warrants clarification. The fact that this alarm consistently goes off at three o’clock in the morning as faithfully as …say, death and taxes is also worth mentioning. I am a morning person. I rise early. I have not had any use for alarms for most of my adult life. I wake up after 6 hours of sleep regularly. It is rare for my body to vary in sleep schedule. When I was younger I would stay up late, and rise early. I am on the other side of the youth equation these days, and I no longer like to stay up late and still rise early. One likes to think with age comes wisdom, so yes, indeed, I get my tush into bed by 9. Sometimes a tad earlier, or later, but the alarm never fails to meow loudly by 3 AM. I would prefer to get up at four. A much more reasonable time. But Phoenix, like his namesake, rises. Yes, he rises and refuses to rest until he has roused me. But this post is about more than my relentless cat’s morning shenanigans to rile me. It’s about listening in the early waking hours to the first voice that quietly speaks-well technically the second voice if you count the relentless not-so-quiet meows of The Aggravator, as we affectionately refer to him.

You see, I have been pondering the last post here on the blog for the year and such and reflecting on the past year knowing this is the last weekend of 2023. I have been wondering lately about the direction of my writing and my life in the days ahead- such is common during this last week. The week between Christmas and New Year…it’s always a time of reflection and contemplation. Sure there’s the rounding up of stray socks – an annual tradition- “Find your mate or meet your maker and enter Sock Heaven – that great garbage heap above” (or below). There’s the settling of accounts as one best can, tying up loose ends. But everything goes a bit quiet. It’s the great last breath of one year before the deep inhale of a new year. I live on a main road which gets quite busy with the zoom, zoom of passing cars. The sound, like Phoenix’s morning meows, is relentless and it can wear on you. The sounds around us impact us and send us messages. Subtle they may be at times, but present. The sounds around us can tell us to hurry up, get moving, and keep going. They are not overt, as a vacuum cleaner but a continual hum that one hardly notices. I am convinced the brain notices. Without the intervention of something other to intervene, one barely realizes the pace quickening, the extinguishing of quiet, the tender beauty of silence, the treasure of stillness that brings a special peace. One must find quiet places within and without to cultivate listening and hearing the voice of other.

This morning after the Phoenix alarm, I listened. I was hoping for a few more winks, but I lay quietly and waited for my first morning thoughts. Writing in the morning has been an activity I employ and enjoy. But, like many things, I am learning in my 60th year (!), not as much as I used to. There are seasons in life, yes? Seasons of prolific activity, writing, creating, and seasons of …living. Living seems to take up most of my bandwidth and focus these days. Especially since October. I have taken a short break from the writing project I have been working on since January. The goal is to return to the piece of work with fresh eyes when I resume. I have no regrets, but in this in-between time, I have been thinking and questioning, once again, the next steps.

It was as I was lying in bed, that I heard the silent voice of other.

I was thinking about writing and sharing, and what specifically to share. What do I have to offer those who find my words by chance or choice?

Other had no trouble interrupting my thinking. A distinct and gentle nudge reminded me of something I keep forgetting. Why I am here. Why am I here? I mean amidst all the distractions and tumultuousness of life, the beauty, the sadness, the pain, and pleasure – there is the great wonder of WHY. Why any of it, why all of it, why, why, why. I feel like I have become like Phoenix, relentlessly meowing into my sleeping face at three AM.

God remembered for me. God reminded me of who I am and why I am here. I am part of a forgetful lineage of people. A beautiful, precious in His sight, imperfect and glorious, chosen people. He remembered for me, my joy. How he nested it into my heart, a small egg. This joy, His Son, in my heart. He hatched this joy within me, and nourished and caused it to fly. None of it my doing. He nudged me, His fledgling to write. Actually, in about 2004. I didn’t. Then again the nudge in 2011. This time I was ready. Or maybe the word is- willing. Willing to trust what I could not yet see. In 2004, I could not see. I could not follow through. I was unclear what other was saying. I was distracted by so many things. Most of them “me” things. The fledgling floundered. In 2010, as I was on a white water rafting trip with my husband and daughter, God clearly impressed on my heart these words, “I want you to share what I show you about myself with others”. It was VERY clear. Yet, I still questioned why and gave some back talk, about being a high-school dropout, about not having a clue how this would look. You get the picture. God speaks, and man talks back. I’m in pretty good company from a biblical perspective. This is probably why the saying goes, Man plans and God laughs. The fact is I am grateful that God is gracious, merciful, and exceedingly patient. Why do we do this? I mean, have you ever thought you heard God say something very specific, only to talk back to Him? I promise you, I can only say this (with humility) because He really is THIS patient and loving.

So this morning God brought me back to the reason He called me to write. Not that any of the other writing I do is not within the parameters of His will for my life, but the writing He has called me to do, will always bring me joy. Whether it gets read by three people or three thousand people. Because this numnut He loves…this slow to obey, excitable about too many things chick (in her 6oth freakin’ year) belongs to the One who calls to obedience His own. Praise Him for His patience!

So as we stand on the precipice of a new year, I ask you…what is it God has called you to do? Are you doing it? Why or why not?

As I was writing this this verse from Hebrews (3:12-15) came to mind- this is the ESV:

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, 
leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another 
every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be 
hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original 
confidence firm to the end. As it is said,
“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”

May we be as ones with hearts not hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. May we be quick to share the joy in our hearts that is Jesus. May we not look at others seeing their shortcomings but behold Jesus who is patient with the shortcomings we have yet to see within ourselves. To Him be all glory, honor, and praise. Amen.

Thank you for reading this post today. I am so grateful to share what brings me the most joy. Writing about Jesus, the One who loves me with everlasting love and undeserved faithfulness. May you know Him and trust Him with all He has given. And He has given us everything. I wish you a very JOYFUL and joy-filled New Year as you find your joy in Him!

Enthusiastically, Dawn