Enthusiastically, Dawn

Today is the day she was born. Today she would have been 23. These words were penned today for my daughter who is missed and loved. I am so thankful for the years I had, every single one. I am so grateful God gave her to us, even if for just a little while.

This poem may need some more tweaking but in honor of today, her birthday, I wanted to put it up in her memory.

23 Today

On this day, 23 years ago
after 9 long months
plus, two extra weeks
you were born-
you always had your own timeline,
my love

first the Bess-Eaton drive-thru
apple cider, double-chocolate donut, cocoa
then the drive to Providence
both our hearts racing
from the sugar

on the way to that fateful moment-
your arrival, in the flesh
not just the sonogram image,
not just the beating heart through a cold stethoscope
on my warm belly, but your shiny, wet,
fresh from my body born-ness

even then you resisted, clinging to your placenta as if
if you had a choice, you would never have been born
and if that had been the case
how terrible for me, for us
who received the gift of You
in the form of a newborn, precious baby

And even then,
your soul was larger than your size
though tiny in stature, you watched
intensely with your big brown eyes

and the first time I held you
my world came clearly into view
a bold flame burning,
yes, that was you!

and my heart still sees those fresh from
God toes, fingers, dimples, and
that little bump nose, and your first steps,
your first day of school-
the fierceness you fought with towards
the powers that were, the battles within
you tried to endure.

and I miss you more than these words can convey,
how much I long to see you and hold you today,
and sing happy birthday and celebrate –
instead, only your luminosity lingers
and every sunset I see holds your memory,
23 bright candles burning- and every wish I wish
is you.