Man Plans

photo credit: ClaraDon via photopin cc

photo credit: ClaraDon via photopin cc

Well, this weekend marks the official end of my Summer blog break. I am gratefully linking up with the gang over at dVerse Poets Pub.

I’ve been writing a bit of poetry over the break, and  tonight is Open Link Night, so I had to pick one to share.

Some of my favorite writing is not always the most upbeat.  Poetry is a safe place where we can  lament, mourn, and explore the ragged edges of  our own beliefs. Poetry is an open door to the unknown places within.  Well, at least that’s how I see it!


I appreciate you taking the time to read these words and look forward to connecting with you in the days ahead… thanks for coming, friends.


Take Courage



But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

These past few weeks have been a blur. Some days I  am not sure whether it’s Monday or Thursday. The clock has lost significance and breathing at times feels laborious. As if breathing is one more thing on the list of things to do…yet, it is a constant reminder that there are some things I am grateful are not dependent on me. My life, my very breath is in hands that are more capable and faithful than mine.

This is a reassuring reality when circumstances spill you out on the highway like a misplaced deer.


When God Presses Pause and Mothers Ponder

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. ~Proverbs 16:9

This morning was a morning like any other as of late. Well, except that Thursdays are the day I head over to my daughter’s school. The rain coming down in a slow drizzle. The windshield wipers captivate me with their whip- hum-wap, whip-hum-wap, whip-hum-wap, as I ponder and drive the road that leads me there. Everything seems so slow. I mean, really s. l. o .w.  in my life, at this time. After all, I am captivated by windshield wipers, really, one has to wonder. Yet, as I turn the corner I am suddenly aware of my speed, and the four fragile silhouettes ahead of me, clearly children, I see as I close in on them. My foot has already automatically lifted off the gas pedal.
Pausing without a second thought. 
Slowing down, in recognition of the power and potential behind the wheel I hold.
Automatically, in light of the presence of smallness and vulnerability.
I didn’t need to think about it, it was a natural response to what was before me in light of who I am.
A mother. Mothers recognize the preciousness of children. Mothers proceed with caution and careful consideration, when approaching children. Mothers seek not to harm children. Within me beats the heart of a mother. A parent. I was not speeding, but still, I recognized within me the sense to proceed with caution. Aware that even in one child’s impulsiveness, they could be before me. Before me, behind the wheel. In a moment. Safe passing and stop lights away from the scene of the potential catastrophe, I wonder-
What happens in these moments 
when God seems to have pressed the pause button. 

I go through the days, and wonder what he is doing.
What is He working in me that I am unaware of at this time?
What is going on behind the scenes?
What potential problem is He keeping me from?
What blessing awaits me on the other side of this holding place?

I think of Joseph, and wonder if he thought God forgot Him.
If he grumbled and complained that he had been treated unfairly.
I wonder what he thought when God pressed pause in his life.

In the quiet moments, alone. Abandoned by all. Betrayed, by those who should have stood by him. Cast into a pit. In the dark. Sold off, written off, left behind. I wonder about those moments. I wonder, when he was falsely accused, and sat in a prison. In the hours. Minutes. Seconds. When time ticked on…slowly. Forgotten. Misunderstood. Waiting. Still. For justice and truth to be revealed. For God to work in His own time.

 Did he wonder what God was doing, then? Did he cry out in the darkness and wonder if God heard Him, or whether He really cared? Did he doubt?  Did He shake his fist at God in the dark?  Did he muffle his cries in the nook of his arm and yet still cry himself to sleep? Or- Did he count away the minutes awaiting justice in quiet trust? Did Joseph trust that God would work it all out in the end? For his good. For His purpose. It is in the seconds, minutes and hours I sense the Lord calling me closer. I sense Him in the pause. I am not sure what is coming.
 I am learning to trust that His pause is not without purpose. That even as I gave pause at the sight of strangers who were not my children out of reverence for the precious lives of all children, God himself is loving me, his own daughter well when he allows, ordains and chooses the specific circumstances of my life. I may not understand the why, but I can know, trust and believe in the One who in control. In the end, may we be able to say with Joseph toward any of our circumstances or perceived enemies:
 “You planned to harm me. But God planned it for good…”
Genesis 50:20
 However, as it is written:
   “What no eye has seen, 
   what no ear has heard, 
and what no human mind has conceived”— 
   the things God has prepared for those who love him—
1 Corinthians 2:9


Linking with Tracy @ My Daily Walk in His Grace

and Jen @ Finding Heaven

When You’re In Need Of A Life Preserver

Photo Credit

Life Preserver: (noun) A floating device that is designed to save you from drowning.
I feel myself sinking, deep.
Bubbles escape and my lungs fill with water.
I am seeing the surface yet, submerged.
Conscious but slipping.
There is something floating above the surface.
If I can just reach it.
But I am feeling pulled towards darkness.
The light is growing dim.
One red ring floats, my hope.
Who will save me from this fate?

Friends, I realize lately that God has been sending me Life Preservers along my life’s journey.
I am pondering this fact as I consider whether or not I will participate in an upcoming Blog Challenge.
I am not sure whether I will or not, but I want you to go ahead and see 
if this is the right time for you to join in! 
As I pondered possible topics for the challenge and my current life circumstances,
 the thought of Faith and a Life Preserver came to my mind. 
I am looking back and seeing so many of the trials and difficulties I have endured had specific, what I want to call “Life Preservers” for the time. I am not one who believes that life is all rose tinted glasses and lollipops. Perhaps you have been through some difficult times yourself.
The longer I live the more certain I am that no one gets out of this life unscathed. 
We all carry our secret scars don’t we?
I believe that God is not a God who takes lightly that which we endure.
I don’t believe He is insensitive to suffering, nor does He enjoy tolerating evil.
But both can be used for His purposes, means and ends.
One of the Life Preservers He gave me this week came through His Word.
Psalm 16
Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
 I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    I have no good apart from you.”
 As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
    in whom is all my delight.
 The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
    their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
    or take their names on my lips.
 The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
    you hold my lot.
 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
    in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me;
    because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
    my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
    or let your holy one see corruption.
 You make known to me the path of life;
    in your presence there is fullness of joy;
    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Lord may we recognize the little Life Preservers you send our way to keep our
 faith afloat during trying circumstances.
Thank you that your love and faithfulness does preserve us when we feel ourselves sinking.
 Thank you that in Jesus you sent the one most important Life Preserver of all. 
Thank you that because you are before me I will not be shaken. 

Surviving Unfriendly Waters {5 Minutes For Faith}

Today I am excited and honored to be featured over at 5 Minutes for Faith
I am grateful for the opportunity to share a bit about hanging on to God when the seas of life get choppy and hope that you might find encouragement in the words I have written. Oh, and by the way- truth be told I chickened out of sharing when God originally opened the door for me to share there a few months back. Thank you Barbie, for patience and grace to hold it open for me until I was willing to trust Him enough to walk through and share my heart in Him. 
 …These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. 
What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open.
Revelation 3:17
No get on over there and check it out! 
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