What The Rose Knows

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One year ago today I wrote about the lesson I learned from the beautiful peach rose at the end of our walkway. Today, the post, which I shared on my blog, showed up in my Facebook feed and I read my own words from exactly one year ago. Ironically, I had just come in from walking the dog, and it is a beautiful Fall day with afternoon chirping crickets…It’s like Deja Vu.

I hope you won’t mind, I edited the post down a bit, but I wanted to share the message, modified and magically new.I pulled from the original what was significant to me today.

If you have written for any length of time at all, you start to see some themes that continuously re-surface. I pray that the essence of the writing speaks to your heart…

I linked the original post at the end of this version if you want to see how and what I extracted.

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When You Are Screaming on the Inside

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I was walking along the road with two friends – the sun was setting – suddenly the sky turned blood red – I paused, feeling exhausted, and leaned on the fence – there was blood and tongues of fire above the blue-black fjord and the city – my friends walked on, and I stood there trembling with anxiety – and I sensed an infinite scream passing through nature. ~Edvard Munch

 

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Anemic Soul

photo credit: Diana via photopin (license)

photo credit: Diana via photopin (license)

This poem still resonates.

Sometimes social media news feeds can leave one feeling starved for sustenance. I am tired of the messages I see lately all over the internet. It brought to mind this poem I wrote a few years back. I struggle to find my voice and discern my own thoughts with the continual pouring out of opinions experienced on any given day.

I give you my offering for the days I have felt like running away from it all, including the sound bites I create in my mind in response to all of it.

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A Midsummer’s Day Dream (Soul Weariness)

 

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Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer.

From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Psalm 61:1-2

I’m sitting here at this keyboard today, facing sunshine streaming in my windows. Facing the end of Summer days…which are this year a bit bittersweet. I’m tapping out words, and feeling the weight of the unknown press in like the end of Summer, and I struggle to describe how I feel. What I am thinking. Is it the perfect storm coming?

I will turn 5o. Finally. Well…on August 24.

My family  has been hearing me say I’m “almost 50“,  for the last 5 years.

This year has been a blur of pain, joy, survival mode, betrayal, frustration and ultimately a letting go. A letting go of dreams, expectations, desires. This year has been like living with death every day.

Death of hopes and plans shared. Death of friendships that reveal themselves to be over. Death of both secular and spiritual community expectations, death, death and death…  More

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