Minus One

Image Credit: Keoni Cabral 

I wonder if
it would be easier
for them to see
darkness, like fog rolls in
consuming thoughts-
I almost see the gates of hell
no, all the lords and princes
parade over me victorious
and I stop caring
consumed by the current darkness
stopped hearing
soul pierced, bleeding, silenced
walls don’t weep
physical pain is more inviting
than this wicked assault
foolish me, caught again
or has he grown more indubitable in the battle-
knows my weakness,
my failure,
my shadows.
catches me.
I wonder if they would see
Him better 
without me
minus one
a better chance
than zero
what if I quit
I thought rage died and there it is alive
baring it’s teeth and I 
because at least
it feels better than hopelessness.
I can’t help but think that three minus one might 
be better for me,
in the battle
so why not
be set free
enemies on every side
but when home becomes
a battle ground
dry, clay 
cracked open,
 claim staked
leaving all

he pitched his tent, 
right there among them
slipped right in,
 like poison Kool-Aid,
has taken them captive
why does the guard sleep?
lets them all walk away 
with the booty
minus one
Battle weary-
all alone,
she lay
praying til 
the light of day
begging Him  
take her away
 on the wings of morning 
rush right into
arms that 
are willing and open,
overjoyed at the sight of her
welcomed with
an embrace
in place
of the 
dry, and weary land,
a place where 
there is a river…
and promises that never fail.
could three possibly
be better off

minus one?

I wrote two poems this week. 
One dark and one light.
So to speak. 
Poetry is about the present moment and authenticity.
That’s why I like it.
It’s nakedness.
Some people are afraid to get naked  (honest) 
about their feelings and thoughts.
Not me.
Keepin’ it real.
God prefers me that way 
and can handle it.
Can you?

Appreciate you dropping in,
 but I decided to turn the comments off for this one. 
Go on and share some comment love with another, OK?

 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Philippians 3:8-10

Poetry Link over at this wonderful place w/Brian Miller and friends! 

The Visionary and The Delinquent

The Visionary and The Delinquent
(A contrast of two lives)
One lives by convictions, imperfectly;
while one judges by 
standards, he himself can’t keep.
One stands attentive, faithful; flawed
The other wipes his mouth, demanding more.
One steps in, to cover in grace,
The other steps, boastful; resents his place.
One dies daily, a living sacrifice;
the other blames others –
for his compromise.
One tries and fails, but tries again-
learns to lead; on God depend.
The other flees the scene after speaking lies;
practices quite well, his rehearsed alibis.
One lives quietly, behind the scenes.
The other’s Cheshire smile, grotesque, obscene.
One is slight, in stature and frame.
The other seeks glory and others to defame.
One stood by a seed not his own;
trusting the view of God’s Holy Throne.
The other stakes a claim on fortune and fame,
damning and cursing the Lord’s good name.
One needs forgiveness and has received,
from the hand of God
the joy he bequeaths.
The other also needs, but instead decides
who he alone esteems-
 his own blind guides.
Self is his king,
to Pride he does bow-
Kissing Satan’s ring with his unholy vow.
In the end
both will stand-
at the throne
before the Lamb, 
and The Great I Am.
“Enter in”, he says, “to all who have received,
my precious Son in whom you have believed.”
“Even those delinquents,
 who will turn to me, in their final hour
breath their last decree.
I will not turn away
one who will bow his knee,
in this life or in the end- finally.”
“But for those who make their stand, and rely on self,
they will not enter in to my gracious wealth.
For I am the One who gives and takes,
I am perfect and holy-
making no mistakes.
I have called each one personally.

Each must decide about Calvary.
Each must choose about that Tree,
the Tree that stood before the Fall,
the Tree that held up the final call…
the Tree that held the God who was man,
that stood in the garden,
that fulfilled God’s plan.
The Tree that took a sinner’s plight
and brought redemption into Holy Light.

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!”

  But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence?  We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

  Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

  Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Luke 23:39-43

Linking with Emily and Shanyn:

Strawberry Roan

When War Wages

The Battle of Anghiari (1505) by  Leonard da Vinci  (Wikpedia)

What would it take to heal these wounds?
Why can’t I speak it?
Afraid that truth will kill all love?
Does Truth kill Love?
War wages.
God is Love.
Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, the Life…”
The Truth.
Jesus is God.
Is God love?
If God is love, and He is;
and Jesus is God, and He is;
and God is for me, not against me…
And. He. Is.
Then what remains?
Fight. Now. 
God is Love. Jesus is God.
He loves me with a love that cannot die.
Is not afraid.
Tells me, “Fear not”.
He has not given me a spirit of fear.
Therefore I reject this lie.
I stand firm in Truth.
By His blood.
In His power.
When war wages, and fear rages against my soul…
I will stand firm.
I cling to Him, and fight with all my might.
Though the battle wages,
enemy relentlessly pursuing me-
He has already won and I am His
I cling to His victory-

Strawberry Roan

Will They See Jesus?

“Christians, like physicians, should vow to do no harm.
 But forgive us, Lord. Because we do.”
Dave Burchett

My heart has been heavy the past few weeks. There have been light moments. God has not stepped off His throne or stopped shining His beauty and light with reminders of His constant love. But my thoughts have been battling beneath the surface. Stirring within are things that must be left at the cross. Unkind words spoken to my face and others spoken behind my back. Friends that are not friendly. Brethren that do not act in love. Women who are not wise with their words. These burdens have caused me to want to retreat into a quiet and safe place. 
Don’t speak. 
Silence is precious. 
I hear Him so much better when there is quiet. 
When I am alone.

I confess I am…
Bored with those who are distracted by the cult of sports and yet judge other Christians for their choices.
Disgusted with those who speak hate to those who are without light and hinder His grace by their toxic outpourings.
Discouraged with conclusions drawn without clear understanding of details.
Saddened by those who behave exactly the same as those who are called “unethical” and “slanderous”, with their own steady stream of political bashing and bad-mouthing; yet never share the Good News of His love, grace and truth.
Frustrated with the lack of graciousness, kindness and compassion that I see in the behavior of those who have supposedly received it abundantly.
Bewildered at the blindness some seem to have toward themselves as they point the finger of accusation at others. 
Lord, help me to remember your face and your grace today.
Remind me that my sins are forgiven and that you are mighty to save.
Help me to forgive:
Those who hurt me.
Who judge me.
Who accuse me wrongly.
Who misunderstand me.
Who hate me for who I am, in You.
Who hate me for who I am not, yet, in You.
Who have treated me unfairly or unkindly.
Who have slandered me and gossiped about me.
Who have sought to harm those I love. 
Because I remember your love, forgiveness and faithfulness toward me. 
Brennan Manning said, “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

“Of one hundred men, one will read the Bible; the ninety-nine will read the Christian.”
~Dwight L. Moody
My question to you is, will they see Jesus

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, 
   nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. 
He was despised and rejected by men, 
   a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. 
Like one from whom men hide their faces 
   he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Isaiah 53:2-3
  Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.
1 John 2:9-11
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Ephesians 6:10-12

Lord, may I and those who are seeking you also, be read as real. You were real, Lord. You did not put on a pretty show and worry about what people thought about how you looked, what you said and the clothes you wore. You were not legalistic and judgmental. But you were love, and grace and truth and some people GOT it. Help me be like you. Help me to “get it”. That it’s not about doing it all right. But about mercy, compassion and love. It is all that will ever matter. Now and in eternity. I pray I get this right, Lord. 
By your grace, through faith alone. Amen. 

The Battle Between My Ears

“Hang in there. Don’t give up!

 Is anything too hard for the Lord?

Just when you least suspect it—the God of surprises strikes again. 
God does that for the faithful. 
God is watching.
 For all you know right at this moment … 
the check may be in the mail. 
The apology may be in the making.

The job contract may be on the desk.

Don’t quit.

You may miss the answer to your prayers.
God is faithful—He’s always on time.” 
~ Max Lucado

I confess, I have not been such a good girl with my Facebook Fast. Well, if you remember I said it was a “partial” fast. Ahem. Moving along. The fact of the matter is I really enjoy some of the wonderful friends I get to see, if even only by snippets and pieces. I get to share in prayer and praises with so many of my brethren I no longer see, and I realize what a blessing this is to me. Today, this was evidenced when one of my Facebook friends and Sister’s In Christ shared her status with the above quote by Max Lucado. Though I needed to see this and hear it and ponder it, and though it encouraged me greatly, I also recognized the battle going on between my ears. The words are true. The writer is correct and the messenger who delivered the lovely reminder via her status was and is Spirit led. 
( Thank you Mark Zuckerberg for keeping us all connected) 

But my mind and my heart are having a huge battle these days. 

I find myself repeating mantras, to myself; I’m OK. I am fine. Everything is good.
“I’m really OK”, seems to be the number one mantra. It’s as if I am speaking it, admitting it, acknowledging it and convincing myself all at the same time. I mean, I really am. 

The Holy Spirit brings to mind verses.
People say encouraging words and let me know they are praying.

In both the cave and the desert, God is faithful. I think of Moses, David and Jesus.

I know this. 
His Word is rooted in me.

I am OK.

Really, I am. 

But there is a war being fought, that continues to wage, regardless.

The limbo fuels the enemy ammunition. 

I tell myself, God has a plan. I believe it. 

But my mind keeps looking for the memo.

Phone rings, machine picks up: “Hello, you have reached Dawn’s mind, at the present moment, Dawn is unavailable as her mind and heart are duking it out in the pit of her stomach. Leave a message or better yet, catch her on Facebook, her favorite place to hide- 
Have a joyful day in the Lord, now, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.” 

It reminds me of when I was 8 months pregnant and teaching classes at a local women’s gym. I would walk in and be met with expectant faces and comments like, “You still didn’t have that baby?”. I would think to myself: Um, Do you see this belly? Really, lady, I want you in the front row- and I promise that you won’t walk for a week after I lunge myself into labor, right here right now. Let’s go!


Really, Lord. 

Enough, already.

Let’s go!

Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You’ve heard, of course, of Job’s staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That’s because God cares, cares right down to the last detail.
James 5:10-11

Lord, I thank you that you are my emergency shelter, I run to the safety of your faithful love for me. Thank you that you care. I don’t know when, how or what, but I know You. Lord, that is enough. Help my mind and my heart to remain under the shelter and safety of your wing. Let me rely on your love, to carry me while my faith and hope rest in You.
In Jesus name, Amen.

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