It’s been awhile since I wrote a blog post wherein I just lay it all out there. I thought I might do that today, because I feel extremely disconnected from everything that has been meaningful to me in my life for the past few years, or more.
But before I start I want to make it clear that this is not a plea for sympathy, or a seeking of affirmation. This is just me, reaching out to you- my readers, friends and followers here in the mysterious and wonderful World Wide Web.
A place used by many, but understood by so few as what it really is- an extension of our beings- for better or worse. And part of this is about that fact. The fact that some live their lives believing lies, and half truths because of fear. But I believe people are who they are – all the time. Whether in the community, the church, bank, the car…and online. People reveal themselves in bits and pieces, perhaps…but the fact is people are who they are all the time. No matter how we try to present ourselves or how we perceive ourselves. Character is revealed, as are shortcomings and defects in every arena life offers.
Beyond all this we recognize there is One who none can hide from, for nothing is unseen to this One,whether acknowledged or not.
So, you are probably wondering where I am going with all of this, right?
Well… to be honest I am not 100 percent sure. But, I will say that when I started blogging, I had a tag line ( I think that’s what it’s called). I started blogging in 2011 under Beneath The Surface: Breath of Faith with the same “tagline” I have carried with me to this current blog. The tagline states, “overcoming the superficial life with grace, authenticity and truth”. Ironically, same words but different order when I moved here to WordPress. Initially over at Blogger it stated, “overcoming the superficial life with authenticity, grace and truth”.
Subtle but distinctive change in order, yes?
If you are a word person, you know there are no mistakes with word choice and order. We who love our words devour subtleties in sentence structure, symbolic meaning and all the things that drive our loved ones crazy, like correcting their English at inappropriate times.
So why the change? What does it matter, and why the heck am I writing this blog post?
Stay with me, friends…those of you who have followed me from the beginning will still recall my rambling posts of soul searching, heartfelt revelations, silly but honest meanderings and observations. Authenticity was important to me and it still is. Grace and Truth were partners I trusted. My blog was a place I came to sort it all out and share- there I found myself whisked into a new frontier waiting to be explored. Surprisingly I connected with people from around the world who also felt led to write, and there was an amazing extension of fellowship, friendship, support and LOVE…yes, I said it…love. Acceptance, grace. There I received input for my writing, connecting with published authors who were willing to engage and encourage. Conversing with fellow writers of diverse backgrounds and experience allowed my writing to grow. I continued to write and trust that small voice within which led me to write in the first place -content with the small accomplishment of stepping out and sharing my words- even if I was unsure anyone would read them. I felt at peace with my writing, in synchronicity with my journey and life.
As a teen I wrote these words:
“If I died tomorrow, and you came upon my words, would you know me any better- would you let my voice be heard?”
I believed all of who I was and longed to be was merging at last with this voice that began to emerge from within. And it seemed good…was good.
Over time more opportunities came, and writing became a place to hide, and a place to be revealed. The blog was a sounding board, a testing ground, a place to be with readers, writers, fellow bloggers…a community to connect with at my fingertips. And that seemed good. Was good.
My writing slowly improved, and my readership grew. And it was good.
But as Adam and Eve in the Garden discovered, no matter how good we have it, we humans are complicated, easily distracted, and often predictable in the ways we stumble.
When is enough, enough?
When are we satisfied with doing what we believe God is telling us to do and can leave it at that?
Did God say?
What did He say?
Did God promise?
What has He promised?
I’m convinced our misery begins the moment we stop being satisfied with what God has for us in the present moment because we think we should …
have more, be more , do more, are owed more. Fill in the blank.
When doing God’s will ceases to satisfy, we are prone to wander. My friend, know this- we are expert wanderers.
But wanderers are rarely ever satisfied and wandering causes weariness for those who desire soul satisfaction.
I have more to tell you, but this is enough for one day. Needless to say, I must tell you-
I will not be doing the 31 Day Writing Challenge in October this year…
I will be doing the 31 Day challenge…but this one is for me. Totally. I want to share from that still, small place from within- the place I’ve lost touch with…I want to rediscover the raw and real writer I was and rescue her from oblivion. The truth is, I have been wrestling with my identity as a writer for awhile now…and I hate what the whole blogging, writing, social media world has become…a place I don’t enjoy “being” in…because everything feels like a sales pitch.
For those of you who have followed me for awhile, you might love the direction I ‘m going. For some of you, you might find me a crackpot. Either way, I’m keeping it real. Let the chips fall where they may.
A few notes…I apologize for those who maybe expected me to write “Journaling with the Psalms”. I will do it…just not this month. Today, I sat down to write for the first time in a long time , and felt something rising from within…I’m staying with it. I have no idea where it is leading. But I suspect it will carry me to where I need to be.
Join me on the journey, if you’d like…this is the journey…
I am hit or miss on social media and will be lucky to get 31 days of writing in. So I apologize if I do not keep up with everyone. I will do my best. Right now, I need to just get the words out there…and support my mom’s ongoing battle with esophageal cancer. She will be having her last treatment October 5th. I will be sharing more about it all…perhaps. BUT, I am sporadic with the SM activity. I tend to just share a pic on Instagram as it is the lowest maintenance and easy.
This is my story…this is my song. Writing Redeemed, all the day long.
Overcoming the superficial life? Yes and also 31 Days of Grace, Authenticity and Truth. Yes. Yes, yes!
Will you join me?
I’ve set up a page at the top and you can find all related posts there. If you feel led to springboard off my writing or respond to anything that resonates or sparks something for you, join me in the journey; let me know your thoughtsand also find related posts by using the hashtag #writingredeemed.
Grace for the journey, friends. Sometimes I write to stay alive, how about you?