Fierceness in Time

Tonight at dVerse Poets Pub I am sharing my own spontaneous response to a prompt shared by  Anthony Desmond. He  has given us eight original lines and asked us to have at them…in any way we like. The rule was we had to use three! I used more, and italicised them in the piece…

I struggle with prompts but was surprised where this led…when your words take you where you had never expected to go? Yeah, that! Enjoy, and stop over at dVerse to have at these 8 lines yourself. You never know where they will lead!


Fierceness in Time
Time is not a friend,
to most-
drag the shackles
tied to post,
sink your teeth
on warm flesh
turn back the clock
think not of rest.
She swoons,  "You flood me like a
lone streetlight
among the darkness."
silently approaching
from behind-
nape of neck...
she is stalking
the fluidity of your presence
for she has
craved images of you-
eyes riveted
on every movement
pads  through the streets
she lives again
and prowls the asphalt jungle
like a lioness
with belladonna in her eyes,
You said,
 "The heart makes the simplest things so damn complicated."
before your eyes closed,
to madness-
opened to her love
waltzed past the dead,
in their shade like shadow-
chasing the prey
who preyed
upon you
blind to the trap
she had set-
as she sinks her teeth
down on warm flesh,
turns back the clock
thinks not of rest.

18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thatsnoscrap
    Sep 22, 2015 @ 18:58:50

    I enjoy reading your writings! Thank you for sharing!




  2. X
    Sep 22, 2015 @ 19:47:09

    Eeep. I think she is a bit of a vampire. She def has the allure going on, as you gave her quite the heat. That will fool many a person, right up til she sinks her teeth.


    • X
      Sep 23, 2015 @ 09:36:21

      I thought more about this last night, especially in the context of time being that vampire. And how do you fight that? Or do you give yourself over to it? Try to go with it and do the best that you can. Anyway, you had me thinking and doodling in my own notebook, so…


      • enthusiasticallydawn
        Sep 23, 2015 @ 10:03:48

        X, ya know it’s weird because I did not set out with a vampire in mind at all…just a few jumbled thoughts and when I read it all afterwards…I am like holy moly what have I just written? AND I definitely saw that in the end…I am like- my vamp somehow morphed to vampire…it was a very fun challenge, and I like walking close to the edge…and you are right, who can take on time and win? Thanks for sharing with me. Notebooks are like best friends though, right? .

  3. Grace
    Sep 22, 2015 @ 20:13:05

    The ending went darker than I thought ~ I don’t know if I am scared or thrilled by the madness of love ~

    Thanks for playing along Dawn & wishing you a good week ~


  4. Mary
    Sep 22, 2015 @ 20:42:22

    So true that time is not a friend to most, but perhaps we should just be thankful that we have one more day… I especially like your last stanza. I find it very intensely riveting…thinking of chasing the prey who preyed on ‘you.’ I like your varied approach!


  5. lynn__
    Sep 22, 2015 @ 21:34:17

    Predator becomes prey…your poems don’t usually creep me out, Dawn, but this one sends shivers.


  6. katiemiafrederick
    Sep 23, 2015 @ 01:50:01

    Oh.. images.. of what we
    are supposed to
    be rather than
    of what
    we like
    to be..
    is Beauty
    Loving Now..
    whEre essence
    of meaning
    rUles over
    fORm N0W..:)


  7. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Sep 23, 2015 @ 01:51:01

    Ah, the darkness of those midnight fangs. There is an allure in those vampire stories which is where your story brought me..


  8. sreejaharikrishnan
    Sep 23, 2015 @ 08:09:34

    scary feeling….loved the opening lines!


  9. georgeplace2013
    Sep 23, 2015 @ 09:44:54

    time with fangs what a picture. Wonderful piece of work.


  10. Glenn Buttkus
    Sep 23, 2015 @ 11:49:23

    The vampiress is there on one level, especially with cool lines like /waltzed past the dead/, but the piece is well layered too, & metaphorically, this hot bitch could be many other women, unleashing a monstrous lust, a pent-up emotion; strong sensuality for sure.


  11. caroljforrester
    Sep 23, 2015 @ 13:30:35

    Great use of the lines, I really enjoyed your piece.


  12. Victoria C. Slotto
    Sep 23, 2015 @ 14:29:10

    Yikes…not a huge reader of vampire things, but I do believe I have just encountered one and you develop the persona so well.


  13. kanzensakura
    Sep 23, 2015 @ 15:10:07

    I don’t get vampire in this at all. Truly, time is often not a friend to most but for those in pain, when it passes quickly, it is a best friend. Taking control of time…the last lines say so much. Taking control of time, of love….not being a victim of either.


  14. Desmond, Anthony (@iamEPanthony)
    Sep 23, 2015 @ 18:19:43

    You said,
    “The heart makes the simplest things so damn complicated.”
    before your eyes closed,
    to madness- love that!! Yeah, I def got vampire vibes from this write… so fierce!


  15. denise
    Sep 26, 2015 @ 02:22:43

    great writing


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