Well, I apologize for being late to my own gathering but I am ever so grateful for my fellow Journal Keeping pals who make sure to show up and make themselves at home anyway! One of the prompts for this past week on our 21 Days of Journaling in June journey is titled Lists, Lists, Lists and is a prompt based on the lists we make and use in our lives.
As I looked through my journals, I grabbed a few and settled on sharing from this pretty once blank book turned memory keeper, dream holder, paper-bound friend.
How perfect that as I perused my journal I came across this list, tucked right into the middle of my rambling, in a journal dated April 2, 2004.
These words were written one year into marriage, six months into being mom to a 4 year old, while learning how to “submit’ to my best friend of 20 years, now husband in a new life, embracing family as opposed to single motherhood.
As I read the words, I can only tell you that they could easily be on my heart list in my personal journal today. And the “Help!” at the top right corner? My daily desperate, never-changing cry to the God who IS able to undeniably do what I know I cannot do for myself.
Lord I need these:
1. A gentle Spirit.
2. A forgiving heart.
3. A kind attitude toward others.
4. Patience with myself.
5. Comprehension of God’s love for me.
6.Comprehension of God’s love for others.
7. Appreciation of God’s Wisdom, Power and Majesty.
9. Protection against the enemy of my soul.
10. Discernment for decisions and choices.
11. Sensitivity to God’s perspective.
12. Sensitivity to where others are in life and spirituality.
13. Realizing God’s love for all of mankind.
There’s more but You already know!
Thank you Jesus that you’ve made these possible.
I have been contemplating finding my own Spiritual Whitespace with a number of beautiful soul-sisters this month and it’s funny how this list brings me right back to my own helplessness, and need to be carried by One whose arms never tire. Who has the strength to uphold me in my weakness and utter fallibility. Who never lets go or gives up on me and when I want to give up on myself in my helplessness.
I am learning that Jesus longs to help us live out the Good Samaritan story as Bonnie speaks in her book in Chapter 7. Not just for others…but for ourselves. Whether through journaling or taking time to do those things that heal our souls and bring us joy, why do we attend to everyone else and leave ourselves wounded, neglected, lying on the road?
“Jesus is calling us to expend the time, energy and expense to pour joy on the wounded stranger in us. “
“Jesus is waiting, I stop so easily for others. Will I stop long enough for me?”
~ Bonnie Gray
We are needy, he is willing. But often, I feel guilty when I make healthy boundaries for myself. I cater to the People Pleaser in me and find myself lonely, hurt, disappointed, unable to ask for help, or unwilling. I stay on the roadside because it is a familiar place. A place I know. He longs to bind my wounds, even as I learn to discover what it means to love me, first. Not in a selfish way, but in a way that is needful to the life He longs for me to enjoy. This is uncharted territory, but needful for freedom.
I hope you don’t mind me combining my thoughts about the journey I am on, as I join with kindreds helping launch Bonnie Gray’s new book “Finding Spiritual Whitespace” as well as the monthly Link up for our Random Journal Day.
Be sure and check out Bonnie’s book, I honestly believe it might be the best soul book I have read this year. I am about half way through and must tell you, freedom is found in the pages. She is also having a giveaway for a journal on her blog!
We are also having a Giveaway for a journal and lovely book offered by our Journal Keeper of the month Kel Rohlf.
Linking with Barbie at My Freshly Brewed Life.