Enthusiastically, Dawn

Credit

So you are wondering if this 31 Days of Fitting in Fitness is for you, right? Well, have no fear, I have a handy dandy list to help identify if this journey is right for you. Seriously…not.

You have fallen off the Fitness Wagon, onto the comfy couch AND are reading this post from a reclined position, even at this very moment.

You believe Pilates is an exotic pastry, you have yet to try.

You have seen every exercise infomercial advertised on the telly, for the last ten years, and have yet to respond despite multiple pleas to purchase any gadget, because it is too much effort…  to pick up the phone and call.

You HAVE bought every fitness gadget advertised and have yet to actually use one.

You hate exercise infomercials.

You never got on the Fitness Wagon in the first place, and are wondering what on earth a Fitness Wagon is, anyway?

You are still wondering what Pilates tastes like.

The last time you connected with the the word exercise was when “The Exorcist” came out in theaters and you are still terrified. I say Exercise, you say Exorcism. Six of one, half dozen of the other. Tomatoes, Tomahtos…whatever. Fact is it all sounds equally horrifying and eerily alike to you.

You have a gym membership, but don’t go.

You hate gyms.

You confuse your treadmill with the closet, which means you hang your clothes on the  treadmill and walk into the closet. Although not so bad for the clothes it does nothing for your fitness level either. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

You are a Blogger or Writer whose only exercise takes the form of refilling your coffee mug between the following “activities” (and NO, they do not count as exercise): reading and writing, commenting on posts, Tweeting, using various forms of social media, blah, blah, blah.

You assume all “Fitness People” are narcissistic, self-centered, egotistical and say things like “I want to pump YOU up!” Um, yeah, that one is… true. Carry on.

You watched Rocky and believe that the only road to fitness includes raw egg in a blender. Gag.

You remember Susan Powter, and are afraid.
If you remember Susan Powter, you should be afraid. Very afraid.
I do and I am.

Pass the Pilates, please.