Where we place our trust, for better or worse, will lead us to peace, joy and growth.
It will also lead us to painful places. I have been thinking lately about those I have trusted.
Some worthy, some not so. I myself strive to see things in a broader perspective.
I don’t really care to be politically correct.
I really don’t aspire to impress a denomination.
I think it is foolishness to believe that there is a difference between who you are personally, spiritually and professionally.
You are who you are all the time.
Trust. Once broken, so hard to repair.
A loyalty disregarded.
A boundary crossed.
Insensitivity to specific circumstances beyond one’s control.
Disappointment, disillusion set in.
Trust is so easily betrayed and oh, so difficult to regain.
A child suffers a breach in that trust and carries that into adulthood.
The Lord heals but there is the smallest scar that remains.
The child inside knows what the adult tries to forgets…people are untrustworthy.
It only takes the right circumstance to bring to the mind of the child the forgotten pain and truth.
The child tugs at the memory of the adult.
The child brings up the string of events which have resonated within the pain that seems familiar. Every loss, heartache, injustice, abuse, neglect connect in an open-ended timeline that leads to today. Bitterness threatens to settle within the soul.
Yet still the child also recalls hope.
The child recalls faithfulness.
And most of all the child remembers love.
Because God has planted that love deep within the heart of this child.
And that hope will not die.
That hope will grow eternally and yield crops of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control.
There is no stopping what God has done.
As Joseph said when his brothers returned to Egypt and had fully recognized him and acknowledged what they had done was wrong- what you meant for evil, God meant for good.
This child can rest in this reality.
God is not mocked. Do you think when He says ‘I have summoned You by name and called you my own’, He lies? He is for us, who seek to know Him and live according to His will. He knows the heart, but you cannot trust your own heart… (Jeremiah 17: 5, 7-9) leave that to Him who knows how desperately wicked the heart is and take hold of Him alone who is able to guide you through every darkness and evil that may come upon you. Do you fear the days ahead?
I would walk out every morning and they looked like they were going to stay tight in their buds forever completely content in that mode. This really bothered me as I longed to see their beauty bursting forth. Instead I saw tight green buds, day in and day out. I wonder if I am this way to the Lord at times. Resistant to His leading, longing to stay myself, tight in a bud, due to fear, pain…lack of trust. I can’t help but think of Anais Nin’s quote, with the closed buds pictured above.
Sometimes pain from the past can cause us to close- up tight.
We don’t want to trust that God could allow anything bad into our lives – at least not this: add your own perception of the one thing you believe that God allowed that has caused you to lose your trust in Him. Maybe it wasn’t in the past.
Maybe it is right now.
Maybe your pain is so buried beneath the surface that you can’t even recognize it anymore.
It feels like if you stay in that bud you will suffocate.
But a flower must surely bloom or it will wither away and die.
This is not so for we who believe.
Our way is the way of Life.
Our Glorious King desires to see our beauty! (Psalm 45:11)
He calls us forth to bloom.
There is no way out of this.
We bloom or wither away.
That bud cannot sustain us forever.
A word used to describe that which we rely on.
Such a small word with such a big meaning.
Such a beautiful word that brings forth the promise and hope of new life.
So take the risk.
Bloom, trust, grow…hope.
The only way out of this current circumstance is through it.
But the one who is faithful to care for all the lilies in His fields is faithful.