Look to the East {A Message for Weary Mothers- of which I confess I am one}

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For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? Romans 8:24

I’m looking across the table at my daughter and my mouth spills poison before I have time to retract the words. They tumble out, like scrabble pieces as I scramble them in my mind. 
Parenting. 
Hard. 
You. 
Make.
We are in a battle of the wills, and trust me, this mom knows she can’t win.
I wonder again, why?
Why, do I return to the thought it’s supposed to be easy
Perhaps it’s not supposed to be easy, but maybe at least… could it be steady?
Our boat is always rocking, and I find sea-sickness is the norm. 
I’m queasy.
What did I expect?
I wonder it all…knowing that it hasn’t been easy for those I know who have weathered storms but still made it safely to port again. 
They lived to tell. 
Will I live to tell?
I wonder it daily, how this story turns out and I am living in the moment, longing to know the end. Longing for the happy ending. Heart and stomach intertwined and Living Words swirling about within, gently chiding, “Why do you doubt?”
And I confess, broken-
I do, Lord. 
Forgive this weak child.
Some days I just don’t want to hear about everyone else’s wonderful, perfect, well behaved, thoughtful, athletic, gifted, wonder kids. Who also love God, read the bible daily and get straight A’s. Who follow perfect parents into white picket fenced homes and do everything, well…perfectly. Sorry, I confess, it makes me a little sick in my stomach. Sad, actually. I long for that which is not and faith reminds me to trust when my circumstances stare me down defiantly, spit in my eye and shout “No”. 
I remember  how I used to feel after I watched the Brady Bunch and longed for that which was out of reach.
Completely unrealistic…yet?
Only child, of a single parent, I yearned for something I could not name. 
I longed for a happy ending but did not even know what it should look like.
Beyond the grasping hand. Ever reaching. 
How do you perceive something you’ve never seen before?
How do you grasp that which is out of reach?
Never seeing, ever reaching. 
Yet hope lingers in the hearts of God’s children because He is the Author of Hope.

There is still God residue within, unseen.
Dormant seeds laying in wait. 
Winter may be cold and seemingly barren, but beneath the white, frozen blanket is
dark earth nestling seedling. Even one lone seed, buried deep. Longing for something it knows not…yet.
Still within the soil, hidden, hopeful yearning for light.
Heir apparent awaiting Spring’s thaw.
A happy ending in sight.
Oh, Mother, longing for your prodigal to come home-to you, to Him-
Look to the East, He comes with the dawn…
Take heart.
Lift your eyes.
His promises root deep.
Cling tight and let go
He is trustworthy.
He sees you.
His reach is everlasting. 
And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:5
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. 
For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:18
Although our battles may not be exactly the same, we all have them. Let us remember to deal gently with one another, giving grace, upholding truth, fighting the good fight as God leads us individually and together. If we do this we will be too busy to judge one another, for each day will busy us with love and tears enough.
In His Grace, Dawn

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