A Sleepless Night and The Ultimate Shut Up

 “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. 
Ephesians 4:26-27
It was a bad night. Everything I planned backfired. I was feeling discouraged, defeated and a tad angry to boot. When I walked into our home I wasn’t planning on a confrontation with my dear husband. I’m convinced he wasn’t planning on it either. Sometimes when we least expect it we find ourselves in confrontations anyway. So there we stood face to face. Whatever it was he said in response to me is unimportant now. But at the moment it may as well been a knife. I felt pierced, wounded. I shot back angry words and retreated to the bedroom; he to his chair. I decided to escape reality by turning in early.

After all it had been a bad day.

I wanted to drift off on a peaceful boat of sleep.
Of course that boat eluded me.
Instead I found myself drowning in a sea of unforgiveness.
My mind reeled and raced – I was as mad as a cornered  porcupine and as stubborn.
I’m pretty sure there’s no sleep for angry, cornered porcupines either!
I tossed, I turned. I refused to let go.
It was a long night, no doubt.
Did I mention my stubbornness?
Finally after a sleepless night, my restless heart and mind began to realize the choice. I had to forgive.
Don’t think I did not have a long talk with my Lord, giving every honest thought, emotion and argument to His patient, listening ear. I did.
In the end I had a choice.

I had to choose whether I would turn my back on Jesusand continue to walk in disobedience or turn back to Jesus in obedience and trust. It took one sleepless night as well as one long dialogue telling God (boldly and honestly) all of my rationalizations, justifications and excuses about why I was right and my husband wrong.

Then He gently reminded me of my Lord and asked me to consider all of these things I shared in light of His love, His sacrifice and His example.
The ultimate shut me up.
I chose to follow Jesus.
Forgiveness is not always easy.
It’s a choice.
Jesus made a choice too… it cost Him everything.
It secured forgiveness for all and
the freedom to choose.
Oh, that we would walk likewise.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:21
A fellow blogging sister asked if I would write a post for her blog.
My own stubbornness provided meat for the post.
God was faithful to give me the words once I repented and accepted the lesson.
I hate love when that happens!
There is no hiding in His classroom.
He is faithful!
*This post is part of The 12 Days of Blog Posts, Weekends and Wednesdays in December!*

Linking with some favorite places:
Winsome Wednesday @ My Daily Walk In His Grace
Friendship Friday @ Create with Joy
  Faith Filled Friday @ Beholding Glory
Fellowship Friday @Christian Mommy Blogger
Weekend Blog Hop @ Mommy Only Has Two Hands
Weekend Wonders @ The Thriftiness Miss

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