Problem Child

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See me? I’m a problem child.
I am the one always speaking out of turn
think on my feet- 
as I go
See me? I am a problem child.
I challenge
answer back
staring you down
don’t step on my feet
See me? I’m a problem child.
I see you just fine
you can’t see me
I’m convinced
 you’re blind
and I see right through
your masks
See me? I’m a problem child.
I have feelings
I can hear
I’m not stupid,
but you forget.
Stop judging me
from your strength
looking down at my weakness
level the field
I already know your weaknesses
because I listen
when you think I hear nothing
I miss not one word, crease of the brow
flinching of eye
Come down off your high horse
See me.
I think thoughts you presume to know
but don’t-
Imagine things you have never dreamed
have experienced things 
from your worst nightmares
See me. I’m a problem child.
I’m the one that slipped through the cracks
when you turned your back
assuming you knew
what you did not know
stop drawing conclusions, 
it’s a fool who judges only by what he sees
See me? I’m a problem child.
See you?
learn what it means to see
 He. Sees. Me.
He sees me, and I am loved.
See me.
I’m a problem child.
I will change your world
if you allow yourself to see.
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Leaving Behind The Myth {It Will Get "Easier"}

Yet man is born to trouble 
as surely as sparks fly upward.
Job 5:7
I was thinking while driving to the market. Do you find you get your deepest insights at the most inconvenient times for writing. I mean pondering while driving has caused me to miss more than one exit. And sometimes long, steamy showers absolutely produce epiphany moments. I will tell you also, if you promise not to tell anyone, I get great workout ideas in the shower. Weird, right? Dangerous practicing a kick in the shower, but…let’s get this train back on track. Halt.

I got to thinking about this belief that I have been coming up against lately.
Maybe you will disagree.
Maybe you might just agree or relate.
Either way, I just am sharing a few thoughts about what 
I believe is a myth.
Or a lie.
Or a fairy-tale.
Or all of the above.
Now, I am not a cynic.
Or a crybaby.
I’m just a girl trying to make sense of a crazy world.
But the fact is this world is never gonna make sense.
I know that.
So instead I am wrapping around,
how I can embrace today.
As it is.
This imperfect life that God has bled out and called sacred.

This myth is really one you might be clinging to, 
but I assure you it is not worthy of your loyalty.

Do you think that tomorrow will be easier?
Friend, easier than what?

Are the funds tight?
Are you struggling to make ends meet;
 to put food on the table,
to clothe your little ones?
Are the bills piled high
and the job prospects low?
Is your marriage a desert?
Is the phone ringing always, from strangers not friends?
Are you feeling alone, forgotten, rejected?

What if nothing changes?
What if it gets harder?
See, I don’t want you to have a false hope.
A hope that depends on some elusive easier day.
The days ARE evil, friend.
We are living in times where wicked happens at a breakneck speed.
People barely even notice.
We have become numb to our own blessings.
We expect ease.
But our ease comes from knowing Him.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace
In the world you will have tribulation. 
But take heart; I have overcome the world.
John 16:33

I cannot find a passage that implies that we as Believers are to aim for a life of ease.
I can’t find where it says in Scripture to take the easiest path possible.

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; 
set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1 Peter 1:13

But I see in His Holy Word, real life accounts of men and women who
followed Him imperfectly but were embraced by His Mercy and Grace.
I see Moses, Jacob (I have come to realize this past year we have some common issues!),
Joseph, David, Samson, Solomon, Rahab, Job, Peter, Paul and so many more.
I see a Faithful God in each of their lives.
A God promises that He will never leave nor forsake us.
That if the fires are turned up higher, and higher still,
He will burn inside with us and we will be consumed by His love,
 for He will not let us be touched by anything
that has not passed before Him first.

Though he slay me, I will hope in him…
Job 13:15a

So my grand conclusion is that I don’t believe things in life will get easier.
I’m OK, if they don’t.
I realize if I can’t see the blessing, right here, right now,
feel the richness of the portion He has dished out today-
whatever the reason,
then easier won’t necessitate better.
I suppose the biggest clincher is our leader.
Jesus didn’t take the easy path.
Consider Him.
Leave the myth behind.

So, my dear Christian friends, companions in following this call to the heights, 
take a good hard look at Jesus. 
He’s the centerpiece of everything we believe,
 faithful in everything God gave him to do.
Hebrews 3:1

Consider what God has done:
Who can straighten
    what he has made crooked? 
 When times are good, be happy;
    but when times are bad, consider this:
God has made the one
    as well as the other. 
Therefore, no one can discover
    anything about their future.
Ecclesiastes 7:13

Lord God, May we not be found naked, wretched and poor
but faithful, holy and clean.
By your grace through faith.
Thank you that you have made this possible
by your sacrifice, example and blood.

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New Life Steward


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