Broken Monday

Here I am, the start of a new week and I want to share with you some witty, wonderful, whimsical post. 
But I can’t. I promised when I started this blog, I would be authentic. Honest. Not superficial. I promised you. I vowed before God. Honestly, I had a post started with a funny picture and I started the post and it felt wrong. False. Hypocritical. My Pastor just taught on that yesterday- how can I even write a thing in light of his words? Because honestly, friends, today I feel broken. Not in the way I need words to lift me because I don’t. I know He is with me, it’s not like that- in fact He has led me here. So now I await further instructions as I try to figure what it is I am supposed to learn. What it is I need to get that I’m not getting.
I mean I get that I am selfish and self-serving.
I get that I am stubborn as any mule.
I get that I am a hot-tempered, argumentative prig sometimes.
I mean really, I know my yuck…and His forgiveness.
My lack and His faithful abundance.
So I start this week, needier than most.
Maybe that is not a bad thing.
Having read Psalms into the night to calm my daughter’s fears as she confessed to me things that I was not ready to hear, but for His grace. 
And here I am all broken. 
A week’s worth of busy, hectic confusion past.
Love, laughter, blessing, pain and challenge.
The week was not without drama. 
Nor joy.
This week was witness to:  a Father-In-Law who suffered a minor heart attack; a daughter who took three nurses to administer 1 shot a midst many tears; a cat with constipation issues requiring exceedingly, costly surgery; a Kindle that cracked and a mom about to follow suit!
Yes, there have been many blessings too.
But today, I am feeling broken.
Spilled out.
I started my day with the following verses:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,  for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:3-9

Yet this I call to mind 
   and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, 
   for his compassions never fail. 
They are new every morning; 
   great is your faithfulness. 
 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion
   therefore I will wait for him.”
 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, 
   to the one who seeks him; 
 it is good to wait quietly 
   for the salvation of the LORD. 

Lamentations 3:21-26

So, I pray you find encouragement today for your week. 

I promise to be Honest always
Funny sometimes.
Superficial, NEVER.
I will keep it real, for better or worse.

See you next time,

I remain 
In His Grace.

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters
Acting Balanced

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